GRAMMY®, Dove and two-time K-LOVE Fan Award winner Mandisa shares her story with depression, the ways she’s coped with loss, and how our everyday decisions impact our mental health. Tangents included: Zumba and Chris’s new band name “McGehee” Practice: Be intentional with your everyday decisions.
The 10000 MINUTES Podcast is a weekly deep dive into the adventures and struggles of living out our daily lives WITH Jesus, not for Him. Also, we like to laugh. A lot. Maybe too much.. Ok, maybe too much.
Episode Summary:
GRAMMY®, Dove and two-time K-LOVE Fan Award winner Mandisa shares her story with depression, the ways she’s coped with loss, and how our everyday decisions impact our mental health. Tangents included: Zumba and Chris’s new band name “McGehee”
Practice: Be intentional with your everyday decisions.
If you’ve found this practice or another practice helpful, let us know at mail@10000minutes.com and we might include your story in a future episode!
Show Notes:
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“Out of the Dark” Memoir: Buy Now
“Out of the Dark” Album: Stream
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You know, anytime that somebody pops into my mind out of nowhere, I kind of take that as an indication to reach out to that person. Mm-hmm.
I'm just gonna start out this podcast with this. Okay. I'm a parent of boys. Mm-hmm.
Hey everybody, welcome to season two of the 10,000 minute podcast. And I'm a terrible parent.
We're all this
Big on this set. We're
All just we're.
Yes. Thank you. You're doing great, Tim.
Um, speaking of doing great. Um, and I'm not gonna burp on this podcast. Really? No,
I
Don't do that. I, that is inappropriate for me. But somehow my kids are like, you know what? I'm better than you dad. Yeah. Watch this.
Yeah. You've given them a world where they feel safe.
If they feel safe, safe enough to
Burp. That's right. Yeah.
Nice. And if that's the worst thing. Okay.
Opportunities you never had.
Oh, my name's Tim Timmons. Hey,
I'm Chris Cleveland
And I'm a Mok. Hi.
Donis.
Yes.
I like last names.
I like my last name.
Okay,
Sure. Um, speaking of last names, I don't think I know Mandy's last name. This,
She's just a one. Worder.
Well, but that's a choice, right? She wants to be known as Mandisa.
Yeah. I wish I was that cool just to have one name, but it wouldn't be Chris. Something else.
What would, what would your, yeah, what would your one name be on?
Think about it.
He's on a mission now to find the right one name. Okay. I
Like it. But, but Chris is gonna have to nail this. Yeah. Like, you can't just, I read this
Article, article about the world's largest tree and it had an awesome name. Thank you. Luke. Maybe it would be that one. I can't remember what it's called.
Do love it. Googling. If you guys have thoughts for Chris on what his one name should be. I like just Koreas, but it's like, got a few
Silvers CORs. Uh, when I was like 14, I went to church camp and got this church camp girlfriend, you know, and she was from McGee, Arkansas, but they call it McGee. He Arkansas. And she can make Chris like six syllables. Yeah. I thought it was the best. Yeah. I did every 14 year old boy's dream. You
Could go with McGee. He
For the 12 people that live there.
Yeah.
This is your shout out.
Yeah. So you guys, my name's Tim Timmons. I'm and Mcg Mcg.
Hey, you'd have a strong
Fan face. It's like person, McGoo
Know what I mean? It's not mcg who, it's McGee. Any who, who do have today.
This has been the best intro so far.
No one knows what we do. No,
That's true.
That we don't know what we
Do. No, not really.
Yeah. Okay. So you guys today we've got Mandisa one name Manisa. It's actually Mandisa Magi
Used to be. We dropped the
Last name. Yeah. No, it's not, it's not true. But, uh, we have Mandisa today and she's, I mean, a Grammy winning amazing, awesome artist. Talented, uh, she was on the American Idols
At least.
That's good.
At least. Yeah. I mean, think about my salsa addiction. Oh, would you like the one scoop at
At least it's still positive. They're, they're like, don't know how much they give you. Way
More. Yeah, they're intrigued. Yeah.
They're like, apparently this is like a very minimal amount for him. He's gonna need more sauce than this.
Yeah. So everybody Sorry guys.
I'm sorry guys.
You will. Yeah.
Hey everyone, this is Moy. Each episode we're going to hear from listeners about the impact that practices like this one from season one have had in their life. Here's Terry's.
Hi guys. My name is Terry Whirl and I'm from Pennsylvania. Just want to just drop a quick video, let you guys know how very thankful I am for 10,000 Minutes community, the podcast and messages, the meetups on Fridays. I'm very thankful that this is a safe place out. We can come share this walk that we're on together. I haven't felt safe or able to talk or be myself in like a church setting in a long, long time, and I'm very thankful for that. I feel very safe and unjudged. Thank you guys. Want to let you know the impact you're having and can't wait for the upcoming podcast. You guys are doing a great job. Thanks again. I love you guys. Bye.
If you found this bit or any other practice helpful, let us know by emailing mail@tenthousandminutes.com and we might include your story in a future episode.
Hey everybody, uh, welcome to 10,000 Minute podcast. Uh, my name's Tim Timmons. We've got a MOIs. Hello. We've got Chris Cleveland. Yo and everybody, we have on the Zoom, again, it's a new thing that we're doing, but on the Zoom we've got Miss Mandisa. Woo.
Let's go on on the Zoom. Yeah. Yeah. Not just on Zoom. Just on the Zoom.
Okay. So I, I think that this just hit me right now, but you've done Zumba before, have you not? I feel like one of those Caleb Zoomba.
Wait, wait, wait. We're talking about different right now.
At some point we, like you did like a dance class or something and I just equate Zumba to you. Why do I do that?
Absolutely. Yeah. Didn't we do, didn't we do some Zumba together at some point?
I, I feel like we did, and I don't wanna brag about it, but I'm sure people were saved and it was,
That's a class I'd signed up for. It was a set up for I think so. Signed me up.
That's fine. Yes. Two different, Zumba and Zoom are two different things, but
Yes. I've
Doesn't have myself
In sto both
It doesn't
Have to be a story about the pandemic
Um, and everybody, you can't necessarily see Mandisa right now, but she's got a really cute pink, what do you even call that? Because you and Chris are are rocking the same thing. And I think you look much better than Christmas.
Well, I dunno,
It's just a, you know, it's a headband.
It's a hot head. Yeah. I don't do that because obvi for obvious reasons. Yeah.
Really? Well, I
Don't have much hair going on. That's
Okay. Okay. Do you sweat though? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's more like containment of all the elements. People are like dodge ball. Well, Hmm. Do you like dodge ball guys? I played
Oh
Right, right. I play Zumba and
I use Zumba, isn't it? Sure.
Um, mania. So we met a few years back and I've wanted to get you on a podcast for a long time, just cuz I think you're just so intriguing as a human. Oh, thanks. Um, and you're beautiful and you're kind of, you just, you bring you and we've had some mm-hmm.
So out of the Dark, I, I released an album in 2016 called Out of the Dark, where it, it really talks about that deep pit of depression that I was in that God brought me out of. And since I began, you know, talking about the subjects and a lot of the songs are really honest depictions of what I felt when I was in that pit. Um, as I started talking about mental health, depression, anxiety, uh, and, you know, my audience is mainly Christian. I was really surprised at how many people identified with it. And so that they're so thankful that finally be able to, you know, hear somebody talk honestly about this. Cuz I think there's a stigma surrounding mental health issues in the body of Christ mm-hmm.
Hmm. Talking about mental health.
Absolutely. Yeah.
Gi gimme more
Well, um, so I considered taking my life at one point, it was two years into the deepest depression Wow. And had a handful of pills. And it was, um, it was my friends, it was my loved ones that kept reaching out to me. That's what I was thinking about when I opted not to take the handful of pills. Yeah. Yeah. And isolation. I think, you know, coming out of this pandemic where we've been so isolated from one another mm-hmm.
Love that. I remember probably around the same time you're talking about, I put a song out in the world called You Are Loved, and I started getting these messages from people on the Daily, and I'm sure you've gotten more than you could count, uh, with this same kind of platform that you have, um, of people who were saying, Hey, I've, you know, was at the edge. I was gonna take my life. Your song came on, you know, save my life in some form or another. And, um, and it struck me at the time, it, it almost, um, was shocking to me how many people, um, were sending me these messages. And, um, and I kind of had this realization kind of like you did, it's like, oh my gosh, that we were in a, a pandemic of sorts before the pandemic, right? Mm-hmm.
One, I was like, I might, there was a part of me that's like, am I liable? Mm-hmm.
Well, I think, I don't know why this is, but for some reason, just knowing that you're not the only one struggling with an issue mm-hmm.
Paul had a thorn in his flesh. Nobody really knows what that is. But I think, so the first thing is knowing you're not alone. Mm-hmm.
Alone. Okay. So, so what are some of the pe you know, obviously in, in the past people have said, and probably still today say, you shouldn't do that. You should just trust God for this stuff, which I know is part of your journey as well. And, and what triggered actually some of your depression with your friend that passed away. Well, will you just give us a little bit of even that story?
Yeah. So my friend Keisha, she's the one who inspired the song, overcome her, yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, cuz she was pregnant when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, long story short, I told a full story in the book, but yeah. Um, she did give birth to her son who's beautiful and perfect and healthy, but she had a year with him before she passed away mm-hmm.
Um, that did not do me any favors. It, it only, I only started to find, find healing when I actually said, God, why did you let this happen? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Was that part of your great depression? Like what triggered a great depression for you? Yeah,
It was bad. It was Keisha passing and it's, you know, it's a slow fade. Like it wasn't just mm-hmm.
Wow.
Hmm. I like it. Chris, you, you almost, you didn't say earlier, you didn't say you made you healthy. Like there was, it's, it's like such a process that you're, that you're continually in Absolutely. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. So it was, um, it was one day I went to the movie theater. It was one of the first times I had left my house in a long time, but I went to see the movie War Room because my song was in it. That's really the only reason I
Right, right.
The last thing I wanted to do was to watch a Christian movie.
Right. Oh goodness.
Um, and so I remember after that movie, it kind of ended happily ever after. And that made me angry cuz I was like, that's not really reality. Right. So I remember I wanted to see another movie. So I was in that movie theater for like over four hours. And when I came out, my car had a bunch of sticky notes all over it. And a handful of my friends had been sitting out there waiting for me. And they had an intervention essentially where they had a counselor that they found for me, um, they were going to insist that I saw her no matter what, because they, they recognized, yeah, this was, this was happening for two years and I'm just, I'm was clearly struggling with something. And so they forced me in a sense to get counseling. Um, and that is really what began the ascent. It wasn't just, you know, overnight, everything was great. It was just, I finally started talking about these things and I finally started seeing people and maybe I would listen to some music that I wouldn't listen to, like any form of light. I didn't want any form of light into my life and I was pushing it out. Mm-hmm.
So how'd you move through the cliches then? Because you, you were, you were struggling with a lot of the cliches of going, oh, God's gonna handle it. All the stuff that said to us, you know, with Yeah. And we all have our thing that, that God have, that people have said this about God. Mm-hmm.
Me, um, you know, my album out of the Dark, I put a lot of it into that music and I started singing it, you know, one of the songs I put on the album, it's not the typical, you know, encouraging, you know, positive, encouraging music that increased to hear from me. It's very much a but you could have healed her. You've done it before. Yeah. Um, that song was called Prove Me Wrong. And it doesn't end all nicely tied up with a bow where I can say, well, yeah, God answered my prayer and I'm great now. It was a, it was just a letting it out. It was in the secret place finally saying it to God, the things that I was keeping hidden and I don't have all the answers now. I still wish my friend were here. I still kind of think that the story would be better if she had lived and was a miracle and she could stand on a stage until everybody, how God healed her. Right. Um, how, however I I know that I'm just in the middle of my story. Like there is eternity to go and I'm only recognizing part of it here on Earth. Um, I really believe that when I do see God face-to-face, I'm gonna get some of the answers. I probably won't care at that point. But in the meantime I'm just kind of wrestling through it. I don't have all the answers, but I'm engaged in the conversation and I think that's enough for right now. Wow.
Hmm. So then I guess Chris asked the question earlier who are, you know, you've had a lot of fans and different people that have talked to you in the midst of this and people that have shared their story with you. What kind of things are you saying inviting them into?
So, um, one of the things that I love the most about the book, um, is at the end of each chapter there's a section called Getting Real, which has mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Can you talk about around some of that, cuz a lot of what we wanna do with 10,000 minutes is we wanna talk about the 10,000 minutes of the week, not just the eighties, were are in the gathering, but in the 10,000 minutes, like when life hits us and we're all dealing with our own things, whether it's porn, whether it's food, whether it's buying or spending, whatever it is, um, this is when the stuff hits the fan. And so what's it look like for us to walk with Jesus in the midst of the deeper issues, but with the presenting issues? So just with your eating stuff and can you just talk a little bit about that and what you've learned and what you're learning? Yeah.
Well,
Yeah. Yeah. Let's, let's not, let's, let's throw that out
I'm learning. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm,
Everything is an I N G. I'm trying to put that at the end of everything. Mm-hmm. That's good. What, what are you learning?
Well, I'm learning that food is what I have always turned to for comfort. You know, that they call it comfort food for a reason. Touche sha and from childhood that's, I I would feel good. I mean, food tastes good, let's be honest. Come on, come on. And I think the issue is not even a food. It's that that's, that's what I would turn to as my escape. That's where I could go to feel good momentarily. Eventually I would end up feeling horrible. Mm-hmm.
Yes. Thank you for saying that. That's, see, this is why I love you. Well, I love you just regardless, but I just, I so appreciate you, um, even saying currently I'm not in a great place. So what's that action look like? I, we could, we could care less about Christian bull crap. It just does. Yeah. Does, does nobody any good. It actually only hurts people. So what's it look like in this moment today, Anna? Again, 10,000 minutes is all about putting the words in the heart of Jesus into practice. Mm-hmm.
What would it look like?
You sure.
Okay. Um, okay. So let me give you an example. Yep. The other day, uh, people magazine put an excerpt of my book, um, on their website. And I, everybody was celebrating the fact that this is out there. And my immediate thought was, oh my gosh, that is so exposing. That's so vulnerable. Like, it's, it's one thing when not just the people in my life, but even the people in the Christian circles are reading this, this is out there for the world to see. Yes. And that felt so uncomfortable for me. Instead of ordering a box of crispy cream, donuts,
So what's up?
A conversation with God and also a conversation with other people that God puts in my life. Like being able to talk to the people that I'm surrounded with, um, instead of just closing in and hiding away.
Which is hard to do because depression just wipes out your energy. I think one of like your most powerful tracks of out of the darkness is your voicemail track. Mm-hmm.
Right. And what I want, I, I want people to know that those voicemails, the text messages, the people at my door, I didn't answer any of them in that moment. Mm-hmm.
Man. Yeah. And, and that's, and that's probably the truth for a lot of those who are in depression. Yeah. Who are like, I just remembered the voice of my mother. Or you know, or someone called me at that moment. I think, um, Kelsey talked about that as well. Mm-hmm.
Or during or after. Yeah.
I think it's just, I mean, honestly it's just cultivating friendships and that can sound easy to say, but Totally. It really, it comes with time. It comes with hanging out with people. It doesn't always have to be deep, like watching a movie with people and grabbing coffee mm-hmm.
Where you can ask these questions and start these conversations that, you know, you don't, sometimes it's hard to approach these hard conversations out of nowhere. But I hope that this will be a tool for people to start having these discussions about mental health. And it doesn't even have to be with a lot of people. Like get you mm-hmm.
And sometimes that's where counseling connects too. Absolutely. That's your one friend and that's self-care and that's, you going to see someone who has the margin to be that person to hear the part where you're getting real with.
Absolutely. I'm a big fan of counseling. I hope everybody is able to do that at some point in their life because Yeah. It's helped me to think about things that I would not by myself be thinking about. It's so important, I think
Mm-hmm.
So why couldn't just God do that?
Well, God uses other people like God works through when Jesus Yeah. Came to the world and when he ascended, he said, you are now the body of Christ. And so he made us for one another. I mean, yes, he could speak with a loud booming voice out of heaven. More often than not he speaks through other people. So I think God does do it. He just uses us as the hand, the hands and the feet of Jesus.
Hmm. That's good. One of the things I love that I'm seeing kind of as a theme in this is that both the, the uphill climb and kind of the, the peak and on the other side of it, like they all happen in these small, um, choices in, in, in places. Mm-hmm.
Hmm. Um, and, and those, those smallest things. So I think as I'm thinking about this, I'm kind of both encouraged and, and, and just placing more value on that, just thinking like, in my own life. Okay. It's not even though I've got a big hill to climb Hmm. It's not about the whole journey, but it's about the step I'm gonna take mm-hmm.
Because, and, and I, and I wanna say this in, um, in a really honest way because I think you bring the joy of Christ with you and people see that on your face. That's why people love you. Mm-hmm.
Thank you. It's very encouraging. I appreciate
That. So now, um, we would like to, uh, pivot one more time.
Obviously
A song you wish you wrote.
Um, I can only imagine. Hmm.
Big
Time. Got all. Yes. Totally. I mean, just, that's a financial thing.
Instagram. Can I do Twitter instead? I'm going
Yeah.
Yeah. It's called the Dodo. It shows all these pet, cute pet videos and I'm obsess
Now
I'll even watch the cat ones cuz they're cute.
Drivers in the fast lane. Scoot over one lane, please. That gets on my nerves.
I'm on. Come on girl, please. Um, thank you so much, Mandisa. Yes. Thank you. So appreciate you. She's an incredible woman. I love her. Yeah. Uh, her vulnerability obviously is beautiful. And this is, you know, what I love is, this is not like a new issue for Mandy, right. This is not something that she's just struggling with for the first time and it's like, oh gosh, you're gonna get through this. I mean, this has been an ongoing thing and I love that she just keeps coming back, which is so beautiful.
Mm-hmm.
Story. And who are those people that we could be doing that too in four?
Right.
So who are those people in your world? Mm-hmm.
Right.
But I love
Bring our whole self, you know, and I think she did that in the interview, but she's had to do that in her relationships too. Right. You know, so she's had to be vulnerable in all of these places and that gives you opportunity then to be that and receive that from other people. Yeah.
Uh, I loved she talked, well we talked about grief, which is obviously something that we talk about a bunch,
Man. I think the more episodes we do, the more we realize people are somewhat grieving something at all times. Mm-hmm.
Through these things. So good.
It was
Awesome. People think about that with us. Mm-hmm.
Chris highlighted it, he just wrapped it all up in a theme and I was like, that's what it is. Yeah.
Swish
At least
Least
Said, when can
I come in with this? Uh, so the practice that we have for this week is, uh, when you start to reach for the thing that doesn't truly comfort is that, was that right? I'm
Ready. That right. You start to reach for things that don't comfort. Yeah. Yeah. Don't fill the void.
Comfort when
You start to start
And things that don't
Fulfill and then don't fulfill, uh, text a friend, go for a walk. Take a break from social media.
Ooh, let's go just
Rethink what exactly am I seeking? Am I seeking company? Mm-hmm.
Okay. So do that. I was waiting for your line. Easy, easy,
Easy. What was your line again? At least? Yeah, I didn't feel like it worked there
And that didn't, didn't work there. Yeah. And uh, Tim Timmons here.
Hey
Tim. Hey. Maga Magaha.
Who knows
Any Anne Iyan or is it a
Specific Anne? It's Anne J
Oh, okay.
And it's a cool last name. We don't say last names, just, I don't know. I haven't said last names. It feels a little weird.
We're not docs people. Yeah.
That's the thing I just we're thankful for you
Probably find on Instagram if you kill
Me. Oh boy. You
Know,
You, you totally could find me. You love Instagram. Um, and j thank you for partnering with us financially. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Also Lynn a
Thanks Lynn.
Thank you Lynn.
A thank you. Truly. It's really a gift and we're totally honored that you'd partner with 10,000 minutes and help us keep doing this and all the other stuff that we are, um, excited about. So thank you. And if you'd like to like, subscribe and leave a comment,
10 outta 10 rates. Nothing under that. Five
Outta five, but Sure. I think they changed it for season two. It's
Okay. I
Like it. I heard my requests.
Yeah. So 10 out 10, that thing you guys, if there's a five outta five fo show, no fours, no threes, no twos nos. If
You're not gonna rate us all the way, keep scrolling.
Yeah. Just keep, I mean, does, don't even waste your time. Why
Would you?
Yeah. I mean, you've gotten this far outta the podcast for sure.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.