Season 3 is all about relationships, the ways we navigate them and practices to help relationships thrive. Today, founder of Love Thy Neighborhood, Jesse Eubanks invites us to RETHINK the way we relate to our neighbors near and far. Join us as we learn new ways to love our neighbors and be more intentional in our relationships.
Episode Summary: Season 3 is all about relationships, the ways we navigate them and practices to help relationships thrive. Today, founder of Love Thy Neighborhood, Jesse Eubanks invites us to RETHINK the way we relate to our neighbors near and far. Join us as we learn new ways to love our neighbors and be more intentional in our relationships.
Practice: Be an Intentional Neighbor: Building relationships with neighbors requires intentionality! Next time you interact with your neighbor, ask yourself “what does it look like to love the person in front of me today?“ We aren’t meant to “save” or “fix” people but to JOIN Jesus in what He is already doing in their lives. Let’s RE-present Jesus to the people we come in contact with this week!
Show Notes:
Love Thy Neighborhood
Podcast
Book: RelateBetter
All of life is relational, and everything that I do in life, all the decisions I make are about relationships. It's about my relationship with God, with other people, with myself, with my neighbor. Everything from the money that I spend,
the job that I pursue, the hobbies that I have taken. And so our hope is that they come out with a deep commitment to relationships. relationships. Hey,
everybody, welcome to another 10 ,000 minute podcast. This is Timothy Howard Timmons, full name. I go by Tim Timmons. Please don't call me Timmy, um,
unless you knew me when I was a little child, then you can call me Timmy. I just really wanted to spend the first part of this podcast, just laying that down. And now now all of you are gonna call me Timmy. Now is when I wish I didn't do this intro,
but I'm not gonna cut it. So welcome to another 10 ,000 minute podcast. Remember 10 ,000 minutes, our whole point is to encourage each other to join Jesus during our week.
So this season happens to be on relationships, season three. And we're trying to figure out how do we do relationships well with ourselves, with others, with God? And how do we join?
Jesus in those places? So, anywho, that's what we're doing, 10 ,080 minutes in a week, 80 of those minutes are spent in some kind of church gathering. But the rest of the week is 10 ,000 minutes,
and again, one more time. How do we join Jesus well in those places? That's the hope. That's the point of these, that we'd practice the way of Jesus. And one is being kind and not calling me Timmy.
Okay. Okay. so today we have a gentleman named Jesse Eubanks. And Jesse is a founder and president of Love Thy Neighborhood. He also has a podcast that Hillary and I have supported,
my wife and I have supported for years called Love Thy Neighborhood, which I love what they do. He's the founder and president of Relate Better, a company dedicated to providing tools to help people experience better relationships with God,
others, and themselves. It only seemed right for us too. to have him on this podcast. I really like this guy. Relevant magazine, if it matters, named Jesse one of the top 50 Christian artist activists,
making an impact on culture in America. I love that Jesse and his family are in Louisville. Okay, so we jump into what it looks like to be intentional with the people we come in contact with throughout the 10 ,000 minutes of our week,
especially our neighbors. So that is kind of the point of this one. You guys, it's really great. Check out the show notes for more information on Jesse and love that neighborhood And if you guys are loving season three so far,
please subscribe to our podcast like wherever you're getting podcasts Go there and go. Hey, I'm gonna subscribe right here So you don't miss an episode and also if you'd like to join the 10 ,000 minute community you can give to our nonprofit That's what we are.
We don't know patreon, but we send out Emails just toward people that are supporting what we're doing You can get also our weekly text messages. Just check out the show notes below,
and all the things are going to be there. And remember the point of these is not for everybody to agree with my guest or to agree with me, but it's just for us to kind of rethink our thinking on some of these things,
and then how do we join Jesus practically during the week? Not just go, "Man, that's a cool thought," but literally put these things into practice. So, okay. here we go. - Okay,
everybody, we've got Jesse Eubanks on here. Who needs to just put a U in the beginning? Why put an EU in the beginning? You know what I mean? - Yeah, it's strange.
I actually learned a few years ago where my name comes from and it's awesome. It made me super excited. - Give us a little bit on the background of your name. I mean, that's the whole point of this podcast, this 10 ,000 minute podcast, is for you.
your name. So go. Come on, you banks. It's all led to this moment. Yeah. OK. It's English. It comes from a yew tree next to the banks. But here's what's amazing about the yew tree.
The yew tree has a nickname, which is the resurrection tree, because it grows outside. And then as it dies on the inside,
it's got this strong trunk on the outside. But then when the outside starts to die on the inside, die, it grows a new trunk on the inside and it repeats this process inside -outside. And so there are, supposedly there are trees,
you trees, that were here when Jesus was here. Jesus is still here, but you know what I mean, yeah. Okay, so can you spell you tree? Why EU? Yeah, not the way the mind spelled.
Yeah, because you're EU being NKS, being Yanks. Yeah. Okay, so that's... I mean, it feels like you just tried to Jesus, Jukas, right off the top. - I just wanted to be clear that that's where this is going.
- The whole podcast? - Yeah. My answer is to all, everything you asked me are going to be Jesus, the Bible, and the Holy Spirit. - Yeah, it's more about the resurrection, Tim,
than anything else. Right, this is going to be so great. So we'll talk about that tree a whole bunch today. I'm feeling like that's going to be a strong theme. - Okay. Okay, so would you just give us a little, I mean, where are you right now? - Yeah,
I'm in Louisville, Kentucky, which is my, I was born and raised here, moved around, lived in California for a bit, lived in Philadelphia for a bit, but ended up coming back. - Thank you, I didn't hear a dang thing 'cause all I heard was Louisville.
And so I'm sure I'll go back and listen to all the other things you just said, but I don't really care because all I heard was Louisville. And can you maybe settle this for the Americas? America's,
what do we call it? 'Cause when I'm on the road and I'll be like, hey, what's up, what's up, Boise? And they're like, it's Boise, you idiot. You know, I mean, it's like,
people are legit serious from Boise that it's not a Z, who put a Z there? It's like, why EU banks, you know, who put a Z there? It's an S. So is there that kind of drama and intensity?
And if you're gonna talk about the resurrection, I'm gonna be so... so excited to continue. - Okay, so listen, in the original Greek, the word Louisville, actually. - Oh my gosh, that's perfect.
- No, okay, seriously, I say it wrong. It is not Louisville. It is Louisville, Louisville, Louisville. - Yeah. - And the reason I say it wrong is I used to work in the music industry and I would call places and they would go,
where are you? And I would say Louisville. And they would go, I'm sorry, what? And so I just, I neutralized it. So, and then, then it's stuck and I can't get rid of it. Yeah. Wow. Okay. So again,
I'm going to throw another thing. So I'm from the California. And so when people say, man, are you going to Cali? I'm like, a, you're not from California or Southern California because nobody says Cali down there.
So when you say, Hey, I'm from Louisville. Louisville," to people around there, like, "Oh, this guy's not from around here." - It carries a little bit of that, but I'm an Enneagram 4, so I don't really care that I'm different.
It works just fine for me. - Yeah, this is, you're celebrating the heck out of that. - Yeah, yeah. It's just fine. - Okay, okay. Well, gosh, this is gonna, again, more context,
and you've done a lot of work on the Enneagram, and we're not gonna get so much into that right now, but you actually, have a book on the Enneagram, right? Yeah. Yep. I did. I wrote a book. It's called How We Relate,
and it's about how we relate. It's a pretty self -explanatory title, but the basic idea is, here's the basic principle, two things. The purpose of life is relationships.
And second, we have one relational style, and we apply it universally. We apply it-- it to God, we apply it to other people, we apply it to ourselves. We do not have different styles of relating.
And so if the purpose of life is relationships and if I have one universal style, I need to really do some work on that and have some self -awareness. - I wonder if trees have any of grim numbers.
You know what I mean? Like, you have a file on that? - I'm sure that there's an Instagram account out there. there that would Testify to yes. Yes, that's actually I don't want to brag about it But that could be a really great thing for you to jump into at some point.
I'm thinking about it. Yeah shrubbery is awesome Yeah, man shrubbery is awesome. I do have a bit that I think would be really fun to do a video And I'm sure somebody's now done it which I'm sad that I didn't do it but on my animals like Ah,
tinkerbell. She is such a a four." You know, just like going into the drama of, okay, anyways. Jesse Eubanks, the Christ's risen tree name on the bank.
Will you tell us a little bit about Love Thy Neighborhood? How'd this come to be? Again, we're in this podcast. We're in the series on relationships. And what's this look like for our week?
And how does that work in relationships, but how does that work with neighbors and neighborhoods? So we just give us a little context on that. - Yeah. So love that neighborhood is like the Peace Corps,
but with Bibles. And so we recruit young adults from all over the world. They relocate here. They take a vow of poverty. They serve with a local nonprofit. They join a multi -ethnic community.
we do tons of discipleship. But the origin story is that when I was 19, I moved from Louisville all the way out to Oakland,
California. I moved to West Oakland, last part stopped before San Francisco, the neighborhood where the Black Panther Party was formed, and you can imagine that that was a really big change for me.
So that year, I mean, being part of a Black congregate... congregation, living in a 99 % Black community, living in community with five other Christians who had also relocated to live there and do ministry,
it literally rearranged the furniture of who I was because my faith was on life support. I wasn't sure, could I really believe all this anymore? I, in high school, my last year,
I studied a year of the Holocaust. So we had survivors coming in and talking with us. And then I took African -Americans. American history. I was the only white guy in the class and some all of a sudden seeing American history from a black perspective.
So like those two years were just a big turning point in my life. So anyway, so fast forward and when I'm 25, there's a empty apartment at a homeless shelter in town and they go,
we don't know what to do with it. And I said, I got an idea. And so I pitched them this gap year program, ended up being on staff at the shelter for nine years. years and then LTN launched on our own back in 2014.
- Okay, so what's the heart behind all this? So what you've been doing, like what got you into this place? I mean, obviously you're sort of seeing these things. What were you seeing in these communities that made you go, gosh, I wanna do something about this.
How does that work with Jesus? - I don't think we can have a true view of Jesus or an honest understanding of Jesus if we don't have very high consistency. for people in poverty.
I know that this really kind of goes against sort of the "accept Jesus into your heart," but like, there's no way around the fact that there is a strong correlation between the way that we treat the poor, care for the poor,
love the poor, and evidence, and even eternal salvation security. I mean, there's just these strong correlations. I mean, the sheep and goats are like, it's kind of scary if you think about it.
So, all that to say, say is there's no way around the fact that God has a lot of concern for the poor There's over 2 ,000 passages about God's concern for the poor. It's something like 8 % of the Bible or something I mean,
it's really high. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I might be wrong. It might be 4 % whatever But it's fine. It's really high and so out of that. I'm going why well when I moved to Oakland And I began to actually spend time with people in poverty poverty I went,
oh This is why and Paul talks a lot about We need each other that the rich need the poor and the poor need the rich and you know Not that I'm mega wealthy, but compared to somebody in utter poverty.
I'm doing pretty well. Yeah. Yeah You said, ah, this is why what did that mean? You're in this moment. I mean you grew up and give me a little bit of your background So you grew up somewhat affluent I - I grew up middle class,
yeah, divorced parents, two pretty dysfunctional households. So get to middle school and I'm really living with a sense of my mom struggled with depression and really could not give me as much as she would have liked to.
And my dad had mental health issues. And so I get to middle school and I'm in this place where I'm going. do I matter? Like in my scene, you know, am I relevant? And all of a sudden I go in this retreat and somebody says,
you matter to God. And it was like, it was just this life -changing moment. So out of that, I straddled two worlds. I had the church world. So I was like the youth group kid that listened to audio,
journal and DC talk and, you know, all of that. But also like the prayer chain and the choir and like cool music. music and then there was another part of Tim Tabor Yeah,
man. Totally. Yeah, those are my boys. Let's go. Let's go But there was another part of me that I was at one of the most progressive schools in the city And so we were the first school to have transgender restrooms in the state of Kentucky There was nothing traditional was valued.
It was an arts kind of school. It was so very yeah, very Culturally progressive so I had this strange thing, which later in life I'm going, "Okay, I was raised with pretty good theology and understanding of scriptures,
but I was in this culturally progressive environment, but then I was also thrust out of sort of the white evangelical world and into a multicultural world." So when 2016,
'17, '18, '19, all this stuff's going on culturally, I actually was like, "Oh." God prepared me for this moment. Like it didn't feel, it doesn't terrify me.
I'm used to a post -Christian world. And so it was not as unsettling for me. - Yeah. - Yeah. - In my world, you know,
I get to lead worship and I put quotes around that. And the more that I've been studying worship, the definition of worship is duty. duty social justice. I mean it's an actual social justice thing for us.
When we say we lead worship, part of that's like, no, how, how is the world flourishing because of our worship? Um, which is such a bizarre thing. And I, some of the things that my wife and I saw about you guys and have listened to your podcasts for a long time and supported your ministry because we're like,
these people are freaking doing it. So you went from just suggesting this idea of bringing in students to where you are now.
So how did that come about? - Yeah, so I ended up, you know, as I said, I ended up at the shelter for like nine years and over the course of those years, more and more students kept coming, but we only were focused on homelessness,
that that was exclusive and, but the shelter like went through, I mean, we were nearly bankrupt at one point. In fact, there were more. interns in my program than we even had staff at that.
Like it was, it was a really strange experience. And so, so here's the story, man. I was working at the shelter. There were some changes that had taken place. I was trying to discern is the future of what's going on here.
Is am I still the guy that needs to be here? Yeah. And a friend popped her head in the office who works in missions. And she goes. "Hey, do you want to do this forever?" And I go, "What do you mean?" And she goes,
"You know, if you had the choice to help more ministries, more urban ministries, help more young adults, would you do it?" And I was like, "Well, of course." She goes, "Call me." And so we talked,
and one thing led to another in a group of people. I gave them a business plan, here's what we would do, and this group of people came together and said, "We'll finance 55 % of year one." one and we had a dissipating commitment.
And so suddenly I had a runway to be able to do this thing. And so we've had something like 365 young adults come through in the last 10 years. So I say one for every day.
And so an amazing experience. And they're coming from everywhere. You know, we have one girl come from Hawaii, which feels like a mistake, you know, like you should not go there.
- Right, right, right. Not here. So okay, so what do you learn about these students and what are the things that you're teaching them in the midst of all of this? 'Cause you're almost having to untangle or detangle our understanding of God and of worship and of all those poor people.
And let's go give something to those poor people. You're having to like detangle these things. How are you doing that? What are you learning about the church and Jesus people in the midst of this? Yeah, I think that any of us,
we go into situations with sort of grandiose ideas of what's going to happen, you know, here's the most ideal. And I think that when you go into mission work, however you define that,
it's easy to go in with a sense of what's going to happen, you know, lives are going to change dramatically, they're never going to struggle with these issues ever again. So we see a lot of young adults come in with that and and this is gonna sound negative,
but actually it's a really important thing. We say that young adults come here so that their idealism can die. And I say that in the best sense of it because we need people that can cope with the realities of this world,
and you're not helping anybody when you're living in an idealistic sort of cloud space. So there's a strange experience where young adults come and there's actually a grieving process where they... go The world's not changing.
I'm supposed to be the generation. They always told me I was a generation that was gonna change at all Totally and then they come and they just go it's not happening Which leads to is God good is the church relevant and they got a rest with those things,
but here's the catch Because they live in community with each other They support each other through it and then we give guidance to that so it's that peer -to -peer support support with some shepherd,
you know, some older sage that's trying to lead them forward. So my thing is this, I have no desire for people to come do our program, and then everybody goes into urban ministry.
I hope that folks go on to be doctors, I hope that folks go on to be lawyers, I hope that folks go on to be sanitation workers, but I hope they're a different kind of doctor, and a different kind of lawyer,
and a different kind of sanitation worker. and that the foundation that we've helped them build, and their values in their 20s, that it sticks with them the rest of their life. - Okay, and the foundation would be,
like what is their view? What is your hoped outcome view for them at the end? - Yeah, it would be that they would have a deeper love for Jesus, and that,
you know, I said this a minute ago, but they would go out really with a sense of, all of life is real. And everything that I do in life, all the decisions I make are about relationships. It's about my relationship with God, with other people,
with myself, with my neighbor, everything from the money that I spend, the job that I pursue, the hobbies that I have taken. And so our hope is that they come out with a deep commitment to relationships.
And that that absolutely starts with the fundamental relationship that they... have with God, but that that also moves outward and inward as well. Okay, so we're going to get into neighboring,
and what's it look like to be a good neighbor? Like, when Jesus is inviting us into this, inviting those people into that, and we get to look in and see his heart, how would you define a neighbor?
You know, it's funny, Christians, sometimes we define it so broadly. broadly that then we don't define it literally anymore. So obviously, you know, Jesus's application for neighbor is very broad.
It's really anybody that you encounter. And so it could be that it's a random encounter somewhere, but it's also very much literally anybody else that's around you.
So there's this universal application, but there is this temptation for Christians to define it certain ways. of in this super spiritual way where it's like my neighbor is everybody and then their actual literal neighbor,
there's not a lot going on there. And I'm guilty of that. I'm guilty of those exact struggles. And so I'm not trying to throw shade at people. It's a lot easier to love the stranger because if I mess it up and they don't like me,
it's fine, I go home. You screw it up with your neighbor and that's awkward. awkward, man. You gotta live with that for a long time, you know? And so in this day and age,
I find it far more courageous to love the person next door to you than just to do all the random encounters on the street. And I don't have to shade it that either. I'm just saying your actual literal neighbors, it's challenging,
it's challenging. And I struggle with it. I'm like the leader of an organization called Love That Neighborhood and I struggle with it, you know? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - When I was living in Oakland, as part of-- of the program that I was in,
every Saturday, we would have what we call a neighborhood outreach. And the general idea was this, you got to be out of your housing for at least four hours.
So you need to be in your neighborhood and out of your house. And that whatever you're doing, it's with the purpose of connecting with people and you're doing it like I would always go out with somebody else that I lived with.
So we have mutual. support and encouragement for each other. And by the nature of making ourselves available, we ended up having all these really wonderful encounters. You know,
everything from I met this kid, that I ended up being the one that taught him how to swim. I remember that there was a lady that we knocked on her door and we would go,
"Hey, my name is Jesse. I'm from Center Street Missionary Baptist Church and I'm just going through the neighborhood to see if anybody needs a prayer." for anything. And she would always go, "No." And she closed the door. We would knock on her door. I mean,
it was months. And we actually, we had an affectionate name for her. We called her "One Eye" because she would only open the door just enough for us to see the One Eye. And it was, you know, the chain with latch.
And then I remember after several months, suddenly it unlatches, and she says, "Can you all come in?" And we go in and she starts telling us about her son. She starts telling us about all the struggles she was going through and about,
he's getting ready to get out of prison and I'm trying to make decisions about this and this. And so the other thing was intentionality, the choice. I'm choosing this, I'm choosing to prioritize this.
And that's hard. It's hard in a life in which we don't leave margin anymore. And it's kind of amazing. Like you look at the life of Jesus and like, "Dude, you're God, you've got to love God." going on,
right?" And there's also this sense of he left margin. What a strange thing. What other ways do we overlook our neighbors? Like,
what are other reasons, excuses, if you will, valid or not valid that you've seen in your years of watching people not be intentional? I mean, intentional, that is such a good word.
And that may be our practice, actually. You know, we always have a practice at the end of of these that we all will practice during this week. That one feels really strong. But what are other ways that we overlook our neighbors?
I mean, I think one of those is that you try and you try and you try and then you suffer enough failures in your attempts that you just go, I'm giving up.
And I could think of, you know, young adults that have served with us, that that's, that's theirs. story. Their story is, "You've had me going out week after week for months. I don't have a single close relationship with a person in this neighborhood.
Like why can I not just sit at home and hang out on Instagram? Like why are you making me do this?" So I think that's one of them, you know, it's easy to overlook neighbors just because of discouragement differences.
You know, we live in a community. polarized time. We were chatting earlier and you used the words social justice and, you know, as we were talking, and here's the thing, you say that those words have different meanings depending on your dictionary.
Yeah. So it's like, it's like zip code. Yeah, exactly. So it's like everything. So I think there's a sense of we as a people are very scared of relationships now because it feels like everything's gonna blow up in my face.
Everything's gonna go wrong. And do I really need it because, you know, the supercomputer in my pocket is filling me enough. I think the other thing is this. Katherine Price, she wrote this book, "The Power of Fun." And she wrote another one called,
"How to Break Up with Your Phone." But she's got this great phrase where she says, "Your life is what you pay attention to." And I think in so many ways, we live... in such a deeply distracted age,
a frantic age. One of the really bizarre and amazing things again about Jesus is that he was so unhurried. It's so the opposite of the way that we move in the world.
And I think that because he was unhurried, that's part of why Jesus was able to see. He was able to see people, he was able to notice people, but we really struggle with that. So,
what do you think? see that we need to remember or rethink our thinking on when it comes to community? And again, I'm asking these questions, cause you've got so much history now of watching all these stories happen.
I mean, you, you're watching people learn how to do this, unlearn things and you're doing it yourself in other ways and having struggles doing it yourself as well. I mean, just like we all do with all the things.
So what are the things that we need to be rethinking our thinking? on, repenting on as far as community goes? - There's a guy named Dr. Richard Plass. He says, "Your life is as meaningful as your relationships are important." And so many of us live with a sense of despondency,
a sense of why am I getting out of bed? So I think number one, we have to recognize that we are made for relationship, we're created for community, we have to pursue it. Even if you're...
saying, "I don't need it," the reality is if I could watch your life, you're getting it synthetically, somehow you're pursuing relationship. So I think number one, we have to recognize most fundamentally what it means to be made in the image of God is to be made relational.
There's no way beyond that. So first, you recognize that. And then at a practical level, what I see our missionaries do, our team members all the time, is it's them together. saying we're going to support each other when one is discouraged,
another one encourages them, when one's struggling, the other one says, come on, we can do this. And then they're setting aside intentional time. They put it on the calendar. It's a part of their weekly rhythms.
They go visit a neighbor and then they say, I'll come back next week and check on you again. So when we think about this idea of rethinking. rethinking, I think that we do need to think about this issue of intentionality.
And I also think we need to, we just need to remember the power of God's love. And that sounds so like bumper sticker. But it's like,
if you have truly experienced when another person loves you, and we get so scared of all the boundaries, the cultural boundaries we're all experiencing. experiencing. Man,
radical love surpasses all of that stuff, and if we would just lean into it, you know, it's going to be okay. Years ago, there was a guy named Mike Yankosky. He wrote a book called "Under the Overpass," and he was just out of college,
and he was voluntarily homeless, so he took six months. He experienced homelessness in a variety of cities around the U .S., and he's got this really chilling section there where he talks about his watching a mom with her young kid and the young kid has an imaginary friend.
And the mom is engaging with the imaginary friend and engaging with her kid, engaging with the imaginary friend. And then as they began to walk down the street and they began to pass him,
the kid made eye contact, but the mom turned his head away from him sitting on the street. And he said, "What is it like to be a human being in which?" we're more willing to acknowledge an imaginary person than a real one,
and I think that so many folks in poverty, you know, poverty can be an extremely shaming thing. And I grew up in an environment that really like threw a lot of morality on it people are poor because of their decisions people are poor and people are staying poor because of their decisions.
And so as I got older and then I began to even look at art. own city here, like we live in a very segregated city, geographically. It is designed that way. So there are just realities that come with it.
So when we think about neighboring, one of the things that we have to commit ourselves to is maybe I don't see everything, and maybe it would be a good idea for me to begin to become curious about other ways of seeing and being.
And I can do it without feeling threatened. I can do it without feeling threatened. I don't have to agree with everything I come across, but I am not going to be able to really connect with my neighbor very well if I'm not even capable of imagining or listening to their experiences.
- So good, so good. But as we're intentional in these ways, how do we work through expectations? So in marriage, that was like one of the biggest things that I struggled with in the beginning of marriage.
And I sense, you know, I get to hang out with a bunch of newlyweds all the time and are people working on it. I'm like, what's your biggest issue? They're like expectations. It's always that we walk into something,
expecting something's gonna happen, expecting something's not gonna happen. - Yeah. - So with these relationships, how can we walk in with the heart and mind of Jesus with him and not for him?
How do we do that well? Have you seen anybody do that well or have you experienced that done well or poorly? - Yeah, I think that a lot of times, we feel a lot of pressure to be problem solvers. And so we also don't want to engage because what if I encounter a problem that's too big for me and I can't solve it?
Which I feel when I walk by a guy, you know, this past week, I was walking by, you know, guys that are just on the street living on the street. And I'm like, this is too big. This is a problem that I can't solve. Okay.
Continue. Yeah. So I think that one of the things that we can let ourselves off the hook with. with is that we don't have to solve every problem that we encounter. I am not God. I am finite.
I only have what I can give. So when we think about this idea of walking into a situation with the mind of Jesus, that is to say this, I want to walk into this environment and I want to love the person in front of me.
And my hope is that at the end of this interaction, they feel encouraged. encouraged. Maybe there's a moment of awe in the conversation. Maybe there's some degree of mutuality,
but it's really down to I'm intentionally going in the mindset of I wanna love this person. And there's no one size fits all. Sometimes that means if I go visit somebody who's grieving,
loving means this, say nothing. Don't be like Job's friends. Sit there. there and be in grief with them. But there's other scenarios in which saying nothing is an act of cruelty,
where my failure to speak up is responsible for harm to this other person. And the only way that we know the difference is that we trust the Holy Spirit and we say,
okay, what does it mean to love this person that's sitting in front of me, standing in front of me? And then we respond to that. like,
to really love the person right in front of me. What a great way to rethink loving our neighbor. It's ultimately loving the people we come in contact with throughout our 10 ,000 minutes.
And sometimes what people need is an intentional conversation. So not just the mundane, but an actual intentional conversation caring about the person. And we can get stuck in this idea that we must save people or fix people.
But I don't know if I see that as Jesus's invitation to us and things for us to do. Seems like that's his job and we ask him to open doors. I mean, that's all Paul ever did, was just ask Jesus to open doors.
So we're invited to join him in what he's already doing and be a witness to it. Be a witness to what he's already doing and partner in it. So this week,
who can you be intentional with? Is there somebody that comes to mind? A neighbor that comes to mind or somebody that is in your normal daily life? And what would it be? it look like to love them today with the agenda purely of love?
And then as you think about it even as I write this X on my wrist every single day that reminds me to join Jesus That's just what my reminder is. I woke up again today and Jesus. I want to join you Like think about your times at a restaurant restaurant with your waiter or waitress or when you're on an airplane,
somebody in front of you. What if we're just more intentional about caring about people? That's it. This is just no job to save or fix. It's just caring about people.
What would it look like to be more intentional, even bold in just loving people well? What does it look like in your weekly 10 ,000 minutes? There are moments in which we want the extra spiritual nudge.
And I don't think that that's required. I think that scripture makes it clear. I think that, you know, the disciples follow Jesus as their rabbi. Their desire was to become like their teacher,
to see as their teacher, to think like their teacher, to love as their teacher did. and Yes, they had the gift of the Holy Spirit But they also just had the form the structure the rhythms the disciplines the routines the values and so I think we need to be wary of waiting for those supernatural nudging's and What I find out more often is as we walk with Jesus Those supernatural and nudging's come John Mark Cumber
says we we can't have the life of Jesus without walking in the lifestyle of Jesus. And I think that that's so relevant to all these other decisions we make in life. So good.
That's really helpful. Okay, so can we come up with some practical stuff? Yeah. Is that possible? My hope is I know so much. I've listened to, at some point,
I actually counted all the messages that I'd heard in my life, you know, just started. doing some math and everyone has three points, you know, to go do. And I'm like, dang it. That's a lot of crap to go figure out how to do.
That's like thousands, hundreds of thousands that I've listened to in my life. And I'm going, man, those are great. I'm sure they encouraged me in moments, but what if we just practiced one thing and we just practiced and just said,
"Jesus, I'm gonna join you in this." So can we get like real down to the you banks, if you will? Let me give you an example of some practices that are young adults in the program have done simple things.
They're going grocery shopping. They knock on their neighbor's door and they say, I'm going to the store. Do you need anything? That's it. That was the total interaction, you know,
and then they kind of see what happens from there. Also, they'll do a thing similar to what I did when I was younger, which is they will literally go go door -to -door on their block, and it's not to share the full gospel with somebody.
It's, "Hey, how can I pray for you right now?" And they ask that one question, because here's what happens. If sometimes people will say, "I don't need prayer," but if they say they do, chances are they're about to reveal something tender to you,
and that's an opportunity to follow back up with them. So ask them if they need anything from the grocery. Ask them. if they need prayer for anything. Jenny Allen started doing this practice where she bought like a bonfire kit or something and it was just for the purpose of come sit around the fire,
like just have people just come. So I think, you know, if you're looking for simple things, it always is just going to start with conversation. And the reason that I like asking people if they need prayer for anything is that it actually avoids doing the Jesus juke thing later where they're like.
you're like five years into a friendship and they're like what you're a Christian and so it introduces some component of faith early and interesting in a way that is not as threatening.
Yeah. And it allows for some mutuality. Yeah. I mean, so much of this was I'm thinking just practically I'm thinking about my neighbor across street who just has done a woman's lawn in my neighborhood.
just because her husband died and she can't do anything right now. And so he's just, he's just this beautiful dude just going and loving his neighbor, loving that neighborhood, you know? But then the intentionality piece in this is like,
we can get practical and say bake a cake or go door to door, but most of our time is actually spent in a grocery store or in the car or at work. Like what do these look like?
like in those places? - Yeah, I think again, some of that's gonna come down, you know, in a work environment. I mean, who's immediately around you, try to learn to have some substantial conversations,
you know, and some degree of paying attention, attuning to them. We sell these things called say more cards, there's conversation starter cards. And, you know, we know folks that will use them at work.
So it's a hundred questions. questions. You know, just pull a question out, and they'll use them to be able to talk to coworkers and have more heart -to -heart conversations. One of the other things that I've seen people do as well is using time in the car to make a phone call to somebody.
Hey, I just literally call him to say hi, which is like amazing in 2024, when somebody's just like, "I don't need anything." I was literally calling to say hello. - Yep, yep. - Or sending a text.
Hey, I was just thinking about you. Hope you guys are doing well. You guys want to get together later. It's just like, yeah, so good. It's really the small stuff, man. It's really like, we don't have to like, do massive things.
You can. So good. But it never starts there. Yeah. Yeah, I've got, I've got a guy that calls me an older guy that just I look up to so much, so much. We've had him on the podcast and he'll just call me and he's like,
"Till I'm in, I'm just checking in." And I'm like, "Me? Do you need something?" I mean, it's just, and it's so beautiful what that does to me. I feel so seen loved and it's like a three -minute phone call.
Yeah, because you're being remembered not attached to somebody else needing something. Yeah. You're being remembered exclusively for the fact that you exist and you're valuable to them. Yeah. He's not trying to get me to do it.
anything. It's just beautiful. It is the small conversations, it's the small little things. Even Paul, when Paul goes into any town, seems like he doesn't, I mean,
I'm not a big fan of evangelism for different reasons and we can talk about that another time. But just Paul would just say, Jesus, you are spirit. You open the door for things to happen. Like that's your job to open those doors.
I just get to love and be present. - Yeah. yeah. - And that posture is what you seem to be inviting people into. And to me, that is like, that is so Jesus 'cause it lets God actually be God and do cool things.
- Yeah. - It makes it more of a joining Him than working for Him. - I mean, it makes me think too of like, some of our young adults, years ago, they got to know this elderly lady that lived on their block and so they would visit her on a regular basis and they heard that her birthday was coming up.
So they, baked her a cake and they say, "Hey, come on over." And she didn't know that they were doing that. So she walks in and they start singing and she starts crying and she says, "I mean,
she was in her 60s. "No one has ever thrown a birthday party for me in my life." And so that simple choice of, "Oh my gosh, it's somebody's birthday "and I just wanna celebrate them," leads to this like,
this like incredible moment. One of the other things too that comes to mind is, you know, sometimes we just for, you know, we don't gel with certain neighbors or whatever, or they did something that it kind of hacked us off,
or we don't feel like they're very reciprocal. And so there can be a dynamic where sometimes we, we kind of punish our neighbors where it's sort of, well,
they're not all that nice to me and they're not that reciprocal. And why, why they haven't they done this for me? And-- - Right. just think we just need to remember like the kingdom of God is not some hierarchy where it's,
you know, one of us is better than the other. It's an even playing field. Like we don't deserve that whole idea of grace is we get all these things we don't deserve. And so if we really receive that as true, then we're in a position to give freely.
And so yeah, so your neighbor wasn't great to you. You can still love them and be kind to them and you can still be intentional and you can still pursue them. Cause sometimes things just take time. Totally. Or you said earlier like we disagree and nowadays it's like if we don't think the same probably not going to be friends.
Yeah. And that's so true. Like one of our friends has some flags outside of his house and people really do not like him in his neighborhood at all. What would it look like for him to be the one or me to be the one who I know,
gosh, we'd fully disagree on politics or whatever it is. is To still be that love toward other people. I love it. Yeah Jesse, thank you so much.
You're not done. That's the sucker of this right now We've got 10 ,000 thoughts, which means it's a minute per thought. So it's gonna be a long I was gonna ask you what's your last name mean and that one is yeah so gone man by the bank you treat by the bank okay favorite food go favorite food if fried chicken okay so do you eat to live or live to eat then do I do I eat to live I mean both we know it's both
you know sometimes you're just like sometimes you're just like I just gotta put something in my mouth because I'm in a rush and Sometimes you're like this is what life was made for this moment this bite You know so yeah.
Oh, it's a sidebar. You didn't ask me this. I'm gonna tell you this anyway Okay, yeah five years ago my son and I ended up at a Burger King and we ate a burger and we both went Holy smokes.
This burger is amazing and we went Did anybody else know that Burger King's burger is actually good so it led to this. We started doing a thing called the burger tour and we started just going around and my son and I went around to like 40 different burger joints over three years and he would rank them and so it just became a chance to hang.
So there's your food story. - Do you know In -N -Out's coming to Nashville? - That's probably gonna make a trip to you. - Oh, I love that. That's wonderful. - We don't wanna flex or do anything that'd be inappropriate but they're coming and so they're gonna...
Well, the world's gonna go. Oh Jesus does eat hamburgers Well, here's what I love I love just the idea that I could eat a hamburger and only comes from one cow and not 1500 cows You know so a lot of times you go to these burger joints and you're like how many cows were stirred up to make this thing I mean,
yeah, wow, I can't wait to be a vegetarian. Okay pet peeve go Being inconsiderate inconsiderate of other people. - So when somebody, you see somebody being inconsiderate and you're like,
we're, we're good. - Yeah, when they're just like, they just don't care. They're being rude, they're being pushy. They are ignoring somebody that's, you know, if you're just like being, yeah, yeah, I don't know.
I really, I think it's important to see people. - Yeah, wow, okay, I'll remember that. Most recent thing that made you laugh. - Oh, most recent thing. - Yes.
Yesterday at lunch, we, or Monday at lunch, we played this card game called The Bible is Funny. And so it's, somebody reads a thing. So it was like,
the name of my autobiography. And then all everybody else has are cards with random Bible verses. So you play them. And so, you know, it's like, whatever.
You are a she -camel grazing through the fields or whatever. And so we, I was in tears. It was extremely funny, yeah, yeah. - I love that, I love that, strong.
What's the game called? - The Bible is funny. - That's funny, we're sponsored by the Bible is funny game. So that's just one of the sponsors. Okay, Hidden Talent. - Carpentry. - Wow, that was super Jesus Duke,
total Jesus Duke. Okay, last one, current obsession. - Current obsession, oh, we're gonna talk about it. this. So the web telescope I mean,
have you guys looked at the images from the web telescope? I wish that I was in my office because what I would do is I'd show you that the image I have hanging up So I don't know if you know this several years ago.
We sent a telescope up into space It took NASA longer than they've ever taken to build anything. It's currently at this moment it's a million miles from planet Earth and it is taking photos They are the deepest space photos ever taken.
So the image in my office in it has something like a thousand separate galaxies in just the image it's It puts you in perspective the vastness of this world So so there's a great documentary on Netflix But if nothing else look up the web telescope and start looking at the images You can write me later in the me.
It's, it is truly an awe, awe moment. Yeah. - Is that W -E -B or BB? - I think it's BB. - Yeah, that makes more sense. Yeah, I was asking for a friend.
I already knew that, but. - I mean, it's not one of those W -E -B ones. Those sound, those are horrible. - Yeah, that sounds so weak. One B who doesn't. Jesse, thank you so much for being with us,
man. Appreciate you through the year. So it's fun to actually be with you. you and learn with you. So thank you. - Hey, it's my pleasure. Thanks, guys. - Anything people can check out from things that you're doing?
- Yeah, please check out our podcast. So the Love That Neighborhood podcast, if you baptized in PR, you would get our show. So we do investigative journalism around some of the most controversial topics in modern culture.
So check that out and then go over to relatebetter .com and you can learn all about it. all the different relational tools. We have a bunch of free giveaways. And then of course, head over to LoveTheNeighbors .org.
Yeah, and Burger King. So that's going to be perfect. Yeah. Another one of our big sponsors here on the show. So. Perfect. Perfect. Great. Thanks, man. Okay,
I would love to know some of your thoughts on this. things that just kind of stuck out to you That make sense for the first time or just a great reminder. What what are those things for you? I'll just tell you a few of mine So one was intentionality is what makes or breaks relationships.
I mean, that's so true in my marriage That is everything with my kids. That is everything The next thing is to quite literally ask yourself this question What does it look like to love the person in front of me today?
I think that's a great great question to ask just starting your day with that saying Jesus I want to love people well today help me what does it look like for me to love the people in front of me today so good so our practice this week is be an intentional neighbor building relationships with neighbors requires intentionality again be an intentional neighbor you guys we can love all the theology and say man I really
believe this about to go and I believe this, and this is the best part of the Bible," all these things. But again, Satan and the demons have the best theology there is, yet they don't have the ability to practice the ways of Jesus and to join him in his work.
Does that make sense? So you and I may disagree vehemently on many things, but as we are centered around the way of Jesus and aimed toward the heart of Jesus. Jesus, this week we can practice His ways and be an intentional neighbor,
building relationships that our neighbors requires intentionality. So next time you interact with your neighbor, ask yourself, what does it look like to love the person in front of me today? And we aren't meant to save or fix anybody,
but just join Jesus in what He's already doing in their lives. All right guys, so let us know how these practices go, how they went, what you learned, what was hard. So please, jump on in our Facebook group,
let us know the practices, how they're going for you. The link is in the show notes below. And let's practice these things as a community. Or if you're doing this with some friends, please just do it with somebody 'cause it's so helpful.
You guys, thank you for listening, honored that you'd even be a part of this thing and you'd be journeying in this with us. And subscribe to our podcast, please, and share it with friends. and like it.
You can add comments. That's amazing. And then sign up for a free weekly text message that's just encouragement. That's all this. So you dial, dial, you dial. I haven't dialed anything in a long time,
but you put the number in 59925, 59925. And then you just put in 10K. One zero K is like in the subject. It's like, instead of saying, hey Tim, you put in one zero K,
10K. And then you put in 10K. 5 -9 -9 -2 -5. Okay, you guys thank you. Next week's gonna be radical. Okay, bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)