Season 3 is all about relationships, the ways we navigate them and practices to help relationships thrive. Today, marriage and relationship experts, Marriage365, break down the highs and lows of their marriage and how working on themselves inspired a new way of working on their marriage.
The 10000 MINUTES Podcast is a weekly deep dive into the adventures and struggles of living out our daily lives WITH Jesus, not for Him. Also, we like to laugh. A lot. Maybe too much… Ok, maybe too much.
Episode Summary: Season 3 is all about relationships, the ways we navigate them and practices to help relationships thrive. Today, marriage and relationship experts, Marriage365, break down the highs and lows of their marriage and how working on themselves inspired a new way of working on their marriage.
Practice: 60 Second Blessing - Our words have power. Dedicate time in your week to bless your partner by affirming who they are for 60 seconds straight. If you’ve found this or another practice helpful, let us know at mail@10000minutes.com and we might include your story in a future episode!
Show Notes:
Website
Instagram
And the therapist said two life -changing things to me. First she said, "Have you done everything and anything you can to save your marriage so you don't live with regret?" And I knew I had not done everything. I was blaming him.
I was a finger pointer. It was all him, it was his fault. And the second thing she said is, "If you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you." Buenos dias,
everybody. that means good day to you in Spanish every episode. I feel like I'm gonna just show you the gifts that I have in different languages and this gift is a gift of the Spanish and This podcast today is a gift to love.
It's the language of love. See how I pulled that all full circle guys, welcome to the 10 ,000 minute podcast and this is season 3 which is about relationships and And today is the language of love.
We're not really getting the language of love, but we kind of are. It's about marriage today. And if you're not married, I think this is still super applicable. That may sound so cliche from anybody doing a marriage podcast that you're like,
Oh my gosh, of course it is. But there's so many good relational practices in here that I think you're going to love it. So remember 10 ,000 minutes, our point is not just to like get smarter.
and go, "Oh, that's a fun conversation," but to then put these things into practice. Jesus says, "Whoever hears my words, puts them into practice all week, your wise is like building your house on a rock." And I'm awesome for the 80 minutes of the week that I gather as the church,
but then the next 10 ,000 minutes until I gather again, I just haven't been great at putting the heart of Jesus into practice. So, hence the point of this podcast, and today is gonna be really,
really, really fun. great. So we've got Marriage 365 on here today. I went out to the Californias, and I got to hang with these two great, great people. It's Casey and Megan Casten,
and they're the founders of Marriage 365. So go and check out Marriage 365 on all the socials. They're very funny, very inappropriate at times, which I absolutely love. Marriage 365 believes nobody should settle for an average person.
marriage or even just relationships and this is terrific so over 12 ,000 members they've got a membership they're helping marriages and relationships all over the world they're beautiful actually got to sing for one of their conferences out here in nationals blast okay would you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss an episode because that would make you sad or triste that means sad in Spanish I don't know how great
my accent was was, but I did my best Triste probably isn't even right If you'd like to join the 10 ,000 minute community, please go to our Facebook group,
which we chat in there a bunch Find us on the socials. We'd love to see you there And if you want to support 10 ,000 minutes, please do so it's a nonprofit And if you want to give to our weekly texts or even get our weekly texts go to 10 ,000minutes .com and on the upper right -hand corner it says "donate." But if you want free text messages of just encouragement of whatever practice we're practicing that week as a
community, text 59925 and put the number 10K, 1 -0 -K in the subject line. Okay, this could be the craziest intro I've done yet.
But I think you guys are going to love this. You'll laugh a bunch. Um, and hopefully this will be really helpful for you and for any of your friends. So please tell your friends about this and bienvenidos.
That means welcome. This is marriage 365 everybody. We've got Megan and Casey. Yep. So I had a great friend in college named Michael girl.
Okay. Do you get that ever? Like we're Megan and Casey like Cassie. Kasey, I get Kasey. - Yeah, or Kasey. - What's cool though is if Megan calls on my behalf, she just says I'm Kasey.
And they're like, sounds great. So it's worked out. - Hillary hasn't been with Tim yet. - No. - Getting a coffee cup labeled Kasey, it's just kind of like, I'm like, I'm a guy. There's no Kaseys.
- Yeah. I told a few people that I had Megan and Kasey and they're like, ooh, okay. - You're going there. - You're going, yeah, it's so bold, so bold, so bold. bold. Okay, marriage 365.
- Yes. - You guys make out. - Oh, we make out all the time. - Yes, and I hear that you talk about this all the time as well. - We do, we encourage it. - Yeah, so people, you, as you already know,
we are talking about marriage, and if you are married, this is for you. If you're not married, there are gonna be things that you can learn in here as well. - Absolutely, yeah. - Because relationships are relationships. - Yeah,
so just give us a little bit. I know a little bit of your background because I've read it, but give me a little bit of your background of your marriage. - Marriage. - Where it like went off the rails and why.
- So I think like so many people we started dating fell in love for like, this is rad. Let's do this forever. We got married and within a couple of months things began to unravel like bad.
- Okay. - And I think we realized we had high expectations. of each other. We had all this childhood baggage that we didn't know was there in the background, but it came crashing to the surface.
We were immature, selfish, prideful. You name it, the list goes on and on. And so about year three, we were heading towards divorce. - And at the time, I was a youth pastor.
So. - Strong. - Strong, yeah. And we were leading children's ministry stuff. I was doing youth. youth group. - Yeah. - And we would, I would do a Bible saying Wednesday night and then I'd come home and I'd custom make it out 'cause I just was upset and angry with her.
- And I'm like, that's not normal. I don't think this is good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And the hardest part was being somebody in ministry, you can't really share the traveling marriage problems because the church environment that I was in would have asked me to step down.
- Yeah. - It would have been a loss for me, right? So it wasn't safe to come out and say, "Hey, I'm struggling. I don't have any tools." I think too, it's embarrassing. I mean, when you're failing in your marriage and you feel like a big,
fat failure, it's hard to raise your hand and say, "We're struggling. We need help." So I think, too, there was a lot of shame and embarrassment because our fights weren't just like fights. They were immature,
ugly, horrible fights. The silent treatment, withholding love, screaming, yelling, shoving. I mean, it was all the above. And of course, you know, don't let them... the sun go down in your anger. So it was going till like 1 a .m.,
2 a .m. fighting because God forbid we go to sleep. - And really what we needed was just a good night's sleep. - Yeah, right. - But we were like, no, we can't do that. This is like wrong. So we just didn't have tools to actually have a good marriage.
- And the other thing, my prayers were, Jesus changed my wife. Or better yet, give me a good marriage. But it was just a prayer. - It was just like, yeah. yeah, give me a good prayer like like as if some like dub was going to come Descend upon our apartment and become oh Remember saying God you just have to change him like if you change him we're gonna have a great marriage But I wasn't the problem.
So yeah, so I I was really pushing divorce Yeah, and he was kind of like na na na na like I'm not he didn't want to be the guilty one because you know God hates divorce and as a youth pastor pastor.
- He's a youth pastor. - Were you still a youth pastor at this point? - I think to the peak of where we were at, the worst of us, I was still in ministry. - So my friend said, Megan, this is a huge decision to get divorced.
I think you should go talk to somebody. Let's see a therapist. So I did, I'm so grateful I did that. And the therapist said two life -changing things to me. First she said, have you done everything and anything you can to save your marriage so you don't live with regret?
And I knew. knew I had not done everything. I was blaming him. I was a finger pointer. It's all him. It's his fault. And the second thing she said is, if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. Your husband's not next to you on my couch,
but you're here. I can teach you how to have healthy boundaries. I can teach you how to communicate, how to forgive him, how to apologize. And I'm like, is this really possible? She goes, if you have some things you need to work on,
what you're saying you do, you can have a positive impact on your marriage. She believed that with her whole heart. I kind of blindly trusted her. And so for 13 months, I worked on our marriage all by myself. I was fully committed to saying,
you know what, I vowed to be healthy and I haven't been healthy. So let's just get healthy for me, no matter what happens to my marriage. And 13 months later, he noticed the change in me. She became healthy,
confident, setting boundaries. And that was very inspirational to me. And we are very. competitive as a couple. I mean, you're like, I'm gonna outdo her. - Yeah, I was like, oh, no way she's getting ahead of me.
So, I think-- - That's so true. - Well, we're competitive when we fight. - We're competitive when we play Cornhole. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We're competitive in the bedroom. - Yeah, that was one of my other questions. - I saw that change in her,
and that was something I wanted for myself. We would get into our fights, and she would just shut that down. It was very clear who was the answer. spouse. So that was my inspiration point. And you felt it. I did.
Yeah. It took us a long time to work on our marriage. We didn't have tools. We didn't have practical solutions. When we think about the content, what we created at Marriage 365,
we're thinking about that season where we wanted to rebuild our marriage. We couldn't afford therapy because we were broke as a joke and we didn't have mentors in our life to show us. That point of wanting help but not having any tools,
resources and not a Bible study. I didn't need a Bible study. Nobody needed to tell me-- - There's a part for that, but like for our marriage, how do I communicate to my husband who I can't stand right now?
That's the reality. - How do you get on the same page about schedules and-- - Budgets. - Budgets. How do you have a conversation about money without fighting about it and why am I fighting about it? How do we create boundaries?
with his crazy mother? You know things like that. How to apologize the right way? These are all things I knew what to do. Yeah, I just didn't know how to do. Yeah, I've been in church all of my life I have never heard from the pulpit a pastor teaching how to apologize to someone It's very meaningful that rebuilds trust and validates the hurt Yeah,
we're all messy and broken people and of course in marriage. We're the messiest with our spouse Fast forward forward, we start healing our marriage. I'll never forget one evening Megan wakes up and she says,
I just had the craziest dream. God spoke to me very clearly and she gets dreams where she knows people are pregnant before they're pregnant, things like that. - It's pretty cool. - Yeah, so she says, God said that we're gonna be the voice of marriage into this next generation.
And this was during a season where-- - We were still rebuilding our marriage. We were very young. We hadn't, we'd barely, almost been married 10 years. years, not even. And we really allowed fear to keep us back from doing anything.
I thought that was a comedy fact when she said that. Yeah. Who's going to pay attention to the people that nearly lost their marriage? Yeah. Messy. I know myself. I'm not perfect. I know that I still need so much help.
And so why us? Yeah. We're like the least likely to succeed. My mom's been married six times. My dad's been married three times. So we have affairs, addictions. addictions, mental illness on both sides of our family of origin.
So we did not come from peer breed. Yeah, definitely not. Good pedigree. And we live in Orange County where the divorce rate is one of the highest in the nation, 72%. 72%.
Yes. We just have all the odds stacked against us to succeed. And so for several months, we just lived in fear, didn't really say much to anybody. We would get random strangers that would come up to us as lady at the this wedding we were at said,
"I'm supposed to tell you this, but you're supposed to do something for marriage and you should start listening to God." And we were like, "Do you know her?" And he's like, "No. What?" And just all these things started happening where people were coming to us and really inspiring us to start something.
But we were still very nervous. And then Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve happened. Yeah. Christmas Eve and was it? I was out running in the air. and somebody ran a red light and T -boned me my driver's side of my car.
And I went flipping and rolling through the intersection. And there was a moment where I knew that I was like, was this gonna be the end? - Yeah. - You hear stories like this and then I'm like living it.
And I'm like, oh, this is like one of those stories you hear where somebody has like this conversation with God as you're rolling. - As he's flipping. - Well, I came to rest. - And I knew. that the roof was on oncoming traffic I just thought oh somebody's gonna hit me any second and I'm just I'm done and God just came to me and he's like hey so if this is it are you happy with the way you lived your life did you
live in fear or are you willing to step into something that I'm calling you into I was like I'm ready for the adventure I'm ready for whatever lies ahead just then a hand reaches over and says hey buddy I got you you're okay and you know I was safe came home from the hospital,
not a scratch on me, not a single issue at all. And that weekend we started Marriage 365. - That was 10 years ago. And we started with a Facebook page. We just said, let's just throw it out there. And then a Facebook page,
one follower became 400 ,000 followers. - Like who wants to work on your marriage, that type of thing. - Yeah, we really didn't know. We knew we had a lot of great advice and solutions that have worked for our marriage.
And that we started helping our friends along the way. - Yep. We knew that it was working, but like, do people actually really want this? And we found quickly that there was a massive need for marriage help. - We didn't know much.
We led with vulnerability because we knew that people needed to hear it's okay to be broken. It's okay to fail, but this is what you need to do next in a very practical way.
And it's, I think I'm like the biggest beneficiary of it. marriage 365 because I've learned so much Course so much about relationships, and I was so illiterate when we started.
Yeah You've kids where were kids in this whole process? Yeah, so ten years ago as we were rebuilding our marriage We had our first so she's teenager now Kylie and then four years later We had our son so we've got a preteen and a teenager right now and what's really neat is to see our teenage daughter She's actually in her first relationship relationship and they've been dating for seven,
almost eight months, which is insane. And she picks such a good person. And she's, you know, teenagers don't tell you everything, but she'll say things like, "I'm so glad that you and dad have a healthy marriage." And we look at each other and we're like,
"Oh, the hard work is paid off, right? 'Cause you hope your kids are watching you, whether you want to think about it or not." - No, it's so true. - And then our son is on the spectrum.
- So we had a... deal with the special needs dynamic and how that impacted our relationship as well That's another added stress Okay, so that was ten years ago you started this so we saw each other eight plus years ago at San Onofre Little backstory you did no,
I know you did all the children's worship for VBS for Mariners I did and I did all the hand motions for your song shut up. Yes. That was me. Did you know that? I did not know that. - Yes,
that's what I did for you. - Awesome. - But I didn't really get to interact with you much. I mean, I got your demo before anyone else got it here. I know every single one of those songs by heart. - Oh, so sorry for you. - No, I love them.
Our kids know them by heart. Oh my gosh, no, I love them. But I had met you briefly, but you were busy. - Okay, well, I'm so mad at myself. - No, don't be mad at yourself. Oh my gosh. - I'm kind of a big deal.
(laughing) - Yeah, no, I don't. know, I mean, you are. I totally get it. I know it's weird. I'm totally honored to do it. And then to see, I know you know this, but to look out in the audience and to see little children dancing and praising God,
there's nothing sweeter and more pure than that. I get to do it one time a year. And I go to this church called Mariners Church, and I get to lead this VBS. So I write all these songs every year and have this great band.
of good humans, like the guy producing in this room right now, Steven. And yeah, to watch kids pray with their bodies. So thank you for doing that. - Yeah, that's how I technically met you. But yes, then we saw you in "Centernal Freight." - As a couple,
we met eight plus years ago. - Yeah. - It was the night before we were leaving, moving to Nashville. - Oh, that's right. - Right. And I was like right in the very beginning of we were still trying to figure out what to do. - We really didn't know what marriage should succeed.
was going to look like. So now we reach about anywhere between two to four million people every week around the world, whatever, Swish, who doesn't, if I had a nickel. But one of the cool things that has been a journey for us has been this idea that I was a youth pastor,
I'm like ready to teach a Bible study. And when we felt like we were supposed to do something for marriage, we were like, well, let's go to the church, let's do something Christian. That's it.
what was comfortable for us. - That was what was comfortable. - And you're gonna always get people to go, good for you guys, supporting marriages. But God said very clearly to me in my dream, it was not supposed to be at the church.
It was supposed to be out of the church. - And what was interesting at the time was, we racked up like $250 ,000 worth of debt. - A lot of it was student loans too, but we were just stupid. - Or we financed the vacuum cleaner,
'cause we could. - 'Cause we could. - Why not? - Why not? - Go. So I started officiating weddings. I just put my name out in the marketplace, you know, the knot or wedding wire or something like that started getting couples that are looking for an officiant.
And I was like, great, great way to pay off this debt. But what happened was I'd start interviewing these couples. They're not navigating the church. You know, I'm like, hey, so what's your plan for working on your marriage?
And all of them would just say, oh, you know what? Love is all you need. All you need is love, right? You know what? We don't fight now. We're not gonna fight that. You know, we get married. Yeah. And so there was a problem now.
Yeah, yeah, so it was just like this. Yeah, we're never gonna have a problem with that. Hope. Hope is a strategy. Which was our strategy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we hope it works out. Yeah. And I realized like even in the church,
at least we have some sort of resources that we could turn to, these people have nothing. Right. And I just saw that this desert of these couples that would come into my life and then I would officiate one of the most important days of their life.
And I'd bring a lot of passion and a lot of like, yeah, you got this. And then just they kind of ride off into the sunset. They don't have anything to come back to. And that really stirred into me like this heart of the lost.
I mean, you know, like Jesus seeing the masses lost sheep without a shield. shepherd, right? That touches me because I see the same desert when it comes to marriage. If you're a Christian and you want to talk about marriage,
you go to the church. But there was a clear call that this is not the lane for us. And I will tell you, it's been the hardest road, to be honest, because we don't have Jesus stickers or scripture references.
And yet that is absolutely the point of inspiration for us to stop. this out into the world So what's been so hard about that? Is that more hard because Christians want you to be more christiany?
Yes, or I think that's the hardest part for Casey Okay, is that he wants the church to be more open -minded that we can't keep doing the same things that we've been doing right and Expect different results right and so Christian marriages are ending it just as much as the same as is non -Christian marriages So we're obviously not doing something right right I have an abandonment wound too.
Don't forget. My mom's, my mom just... Well, six marriages. She just, when you're, she's done with you. She's kind of just done with you. So there's, there's a slight, you know, trigger that kind of brushes up against that abandonment.
It's like, this is my family. This is my people. People will be like, "Ah, you know, you're not kind of our people." So we've had to create our own lane for years.
There have been. Stuck in. let me say though, there have been wonderful churches who are so, like they see the problem. Their marriages are bleeding out in their community and they're like, we wanna be missional and we wanna provide a marriage retreat,
come speak at our church. So it's happening. I think the biggest frustration is there's this huge space of marriage and there's this secular Google porn, a lot of therapists,
not all therapists, but a lot of therapists. And then there's the very conservative and not just the Christian, Christian, but the Mormon, the Catholic, we're whatever religion you're at, and we're really innovators. There's, this space has never really been touched before.
We're kind of the first ones. And so we're having to navigate it just as a company, as a business to say, where's our lane? Where do we go? But the need is there. And we're doing the best we can. - Love that.
- Yes. - So Ephesians five, right? - Uh -oh. - Yeah, uh -oh, watch out. - Wives. submit to your husbands. Right. Uh -oh. Yeah. Okay. You can't see my face,
but I'm not making a happy face right now. No, we can see your face. It's on video. Uh -oh. So husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, right? So he kind of explains this whole marriage relationship.
But probably the most powerful thing is at the very end when he says, and I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about a mystery, about Jesus' relationship to the church and his creation.
Megan and I get to steward, get to protect, get to honor and celebrate this point that God is making that is inside a marriage relationship.
I have stored my heart of how I want to pursue that which I've created as a lover. The narratives of the Old Testament are all about this foregone lover.
that's swooning his people back to him and talks about you've committed adultery. There's a marriage relationship between God and Israel and you've committed adultery. He uses marriage language throughout that whole narrative to say,
"I love you and I will pursue you." And I love the fact that we get to carry that same attitude and bring that to someone who may be far from God.
But in a way, that's totally their language, right? - It's not in our little camps. - Yeah, and I would say about half the people we reach, they were raised in the church and they've left the church or they've left their faith,
or they're questioning a lot. And so it's been amazing to see who we can reach. - Okay, just for fun, a quick plug, people go to marriage365 .com. - On our app too. You can go to the App Store and download our app.
- But I've got other questions. - Yes. - I'll send it out now. Because I felt like. people want to go check that out. So go check that out, people. Don't be dumb. Expectations, you said that early on.
When Healer and I got married and we're 25 years in, but expectations have been such a huge thing for me. Maybe I don't know if it's more of my personality and how I roll, but they just seem like inevitable and dangerous.
And I wanna know what are things that you see in marriages 'cause you're dealing with millions of marriages and stories. stories, what are some of the main things that you're seeing, issues that you're seeing, that people are not diving into and need to dive into?
- When we talk about expectations, we even have a video called "Too Many Expectations." - Come on, marriage365 .com. - For this exact reason, Casey's someone who has those high expectations of others,
and you feel it, I feel it, like I'm letting them down, or the kids are letting them down, right? - Mm -hmm. what oftentimes people that have specific expectations, they're not communicated, they're unrealistic or sometimes they're just too high.
It's like, could someone actually even do that as a human? Like you're expecting perfection. I'm someone on the other side of the spectrum where I almost set the bar too low because I don't want to be hurt and I don't want to be disappointed and I don't want to be sad.
So I almost go expecting nothing and I think that there's some of us that fall and either can't. camp or that was somewhere in the middle. - Yeah, I think expectations are the hopes that we have for other people. And I'm just a more hopeful guy.
- Oh my gosh, it's so stupid. - I think we all have expectations of what marriage is going to look like, of how our spouse is going to respond to conflict, of how they should clean the home.
I mean, you could, the list goes on and on. The thing is we're couples going to troubles if they're not communicated. - At least communicating your expectations is... is actually step one. Well, actually I should say, step one is identifying what you expect.
- Yes. - Checking in with yourself to say, on that scale Megan talked about like, are they too low? Are they too high? Are they realistic for what my spouse is going through?
Wow, you know, my spouse just started a new job. Maybe I should set the bar a little lower or my wife just had a baby. Maybe I should expect almost nothing right now 'cause she's just on survival mode. Like we don't do this enough and check in with ourselves,
but... but then the next thing is to actually communicate those expectations. I expect you to initiate date night every once in a while. Can we talk about that? Okay, what does that look like? And to check in with each other,
because there are things that we've expected from one another that are not realistic with our personality and our habits. I am a planner, Casey is not. So for him to plan our whole family schedule would be the most unrealistic expectation to ever think and put on.
him. And terrible. And terrible. And it would go to Hell in the Handbasket. Yep, right. Yes. So it's even just being honest with that and saying, what are your strengths? What are my strengths? What are our areas? We call them growth areas.
Okay. You call them weaknesses. Sure. But let's-- Opportunities to grow. Yeah, opportunities to grow. Our growth areas, you know. But let's play to each other's strengths and set the expectations.
And we do this through our favorite worksheet, the Weekly Marriage Business Meeting. meeting. Right? You go to a staff meeting. Okay, Tim, you're doing this, and Steven, you're doing that, and okay, this is the due date. Does everybody know what they're doing?
Does anybody have any questions? And then you're all reaching towards the same goal. Why don't we do this in marriage? Okay, so how does the seven over here? He actually loves it. I love it. I love it.
I would probably say, naturally, don't want structure. Yeah. I know I need structure. Right. So the weekly marriage business meeting is destroyed. structure where Megan and I get everything out on the table, like here's what's happening this week.
Here's our schedules. Here's where we're gonna be. Who's gonna pick up who? What are we gonna do for meals? When is our date time? When is our connection time? When's the loan time? When's sexy time?
It sets the tone for the week, which sets the right expectations. As soon as we started implementing that, I would say 70 % of our... conflict just vanished because otherwise We were just walking into the week Expecting and assuming things over each other like I thought you were getting the kids.
No, I thought you were doing it No, that's when I want to work out. No, that's when I want to go to you know So no, that's so good get into that conflict Yes throughout the week because you've got broken expectations. This is also when we started scheduling sex Oh,
yeah, because we noticed that if it's on our calendar calendar, the kids, the sports schedules come on, all of it. It's nine o 'clock at night. We're not in the mood now. So we started, we're advocates for scheduling sex. We get a lot of pushback.
We always tell couples, if you're having great sex and both of you are super satisfied and happy, there's no need to schedule it. But if one of you or both of you isn't happy or you're not having it as much as you want to. - Or expecting. - Expecting sex,
gosh, I really want it. That way we actually like put it on the calendar. - Yeah. - And to clarify, we don't write sex. because if our kids got in our phones, they would be mortified. We have a code word, we use nap in AP,
stands for naughty and playful. So when our kids were young, our daughter, I remember our daughter went up to us and she was like, "Why are you taking a nap at eight o 'clock at night?" We're like, "Oh,
mommy and dad, you're tired." - Do you lock the door? - Oh heck yeah, we lock the door. - It's like, "Hey kids, we're taking a nap." - Oh yeah, yeah. Your marriage comes first. - Yeah. So if you have to put your kids in front of the screen and it's gonna help you have a healthy marriage,
you put your kids in front of the screen. I mean, let's be honest, it's only gonna last five minutes. - Wow. - Well, we always tell couples this, you should have a marriage quickie in the middle of the week,
right? You're busy, you got kids for school. On the weekends is when you get to actually have more foreplay and enjoy each other more. That's kind of the goal. - It's a hug day. - Humday is Wednesday. Wednesday. - Yes.
- Quick day. - It's a quicky. It's a quicky. Yeah. And so yeah, so the weekly marriage business meeting, we do-- - I'm like the Usain Bolt in the bedroom. (laughing) - He was for the first five years. I'm like,
we gotta fix this issue here. (laughing) - It's like the fastest man in the world. - Really? - Or you could just say that I'm that good. - Right. - I mean, no. - Two minutes is all you need. - So the weekly marriage business meeting,
it's a worksheet. - Love it. - But we do it every Sunday night. night. And it's something that we've done for over 10 years. And I will tell you that it's like one of those things that couples come back and go, this was the game changer for our marriage. - Yeah, there was a guy named Roger Terabasi.
Do you know Roger? - Yes. - He was a counseling healer and I at years ago. And he was having us go through these tools. And I was like, this feels so cheesy and trite and just dumb,
Roger. And he's like, well, great. Well, how's it been working for you? - How's it going? How's it working? So this is one of those things that feels like great. This might feel weird to do But how's it been working on your own sex?
Yes, if you're killing it, then awesome But you don't need it then hasn't been gone Yeah, if you don't fight about schedules, then you don't need a weekly marriage business Me because obviously you're doing something already, right? But we always tell people you can't knock it till you try it and again it is evaluating How's it working for you?
Yeah, and and if you're fine fine with it, but your spouse isn't, then it's not working for you. It's not working for your marriage. Right. It's not about how just you feel you're in a relationship with two people. Both of you should be feeling good about it.
Okay. Expectations. So a pushback to expectations would be that when I expect something from my spouse and they do it,
it's like, well, they did what I expected them to do. This is shit mom. I'm just curious about. 'Cause it's something that I feel like I'm expecting this and there's no thank you for doing this, Hillary. It's like,
oh, no, you did what I expected you to do. And that just gets dangerous to me. Like I do that. I think you and I probably do that a bunch, Casey. We're both sevens. And I don't know how that works with our personalities,
but I've got high expectations. - Well, we're enthusiasts. So we imagine it's a party 24 /7. /7. Dealing with conflict was something I didn't wanna deal with 'cause that's not fun. I'm going to the fun house.
And if Megan wants to talk about how unreliable I am, that's not the fun house. - Right, so are there unhealthy expectations? - I believe that every couple should be respectful of one another.
I think when things become very disrespectful, it gets very toxic and that was our marriage. So I think you should deserve respect when you're-- - Yeah. to each other I think you should expect Apologies because we're messy and we're gonna make mistakes.
I think you should expect forgiveness I think you should expect your spouse to show up for the marriage And I think this is actually a source cause for a lot of couples heading down a path of destruction And that is one spouse just stops trying.
It's like they quit and stayed That's what we call it. They quit and stayed stayed. They're there physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally. They're not there. - Yeah, and this is emotional laziness. That's what we call it, is where someone is just,
"Ah, it's too much work. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to deal with conflict. I don't want to work on my marriage." I don't know where we got the thought process that we get married and then we just do life without ever maintaining our marriage.
And you know, this is what we deal with on a daily basis, is one spouse wants to work on their marriage. the other spouse does not want. I've been kind of talking about this with our staff, Mike. We're selling a product that basically nobody wants.
Nobody wants to work on their marriage. Nobody wants to say, "Yeah, I need some help." Do the hard work. Yeah. But everybody wants the happily ever after. They want the love, the fun,
the connection. Right. Sex, all the things. And then they just sit there and they look at us and go, "Marriage sucks." Yeah, because you're doing it wrong. if you actually do the tools you actually become more efficient in your relationship And then you don't actually have to work as hard It's like trying to cut down a tree with a blunt instrument.
Yeah, you know, you're just whacking that tree Okay, we'll stop get the right tools. Yeah, and you can be more efficient It can be a lot easier than the way people are doing but they just don't want to stop So that expectation of making an effort and initiating is huge because that kind of plays on the unrealistic or not healthy expectations.
Because you can't expect perfection. You can't expect your spouse to be a mind reader. But if you're expecting things, but you've got a partner who's making effort and apologizing like, oh man, you're right.
Like I should have done this, but I'm so sorry. If you've got someone that's moldable and that wants to change and grow, you'll be fine. It's the person who's stubborn, who's like, no. Let me just say this for all of us whether you're in marriage dating relationship or just any kind of relationship I don't think it's ever too late to pause and start checking in with people.
However, our Relationship is going. I don't think it's too late like man. We've gone too far far. There's just something about seeing each other. Let's be the ones who enter into hard conversations,
and then our posture is ultimately for the betterment of the other, and for the betterment of the marriage. These tools and resources only work when we're willing to participate in a new way in our marriage,
right? Something needs to be disrupted. So what would it look like for us this week to embrace disruption in the way that we've been doing things? Because maybe it's just not all working and I wonder if there's a better way for us to try things and that's what I'm gonna try this week in my marriage.
And the second Casey is about to say something that I have not stopped thinking about. He's talking about being humble and hungry and if you have these two things, it's just like almost a perfect ingredient in any relationship.
So just be curious about how this plays out in your intimate relationships. What's it look like to be humble? have a right view of oneself, and to be hungry to actually do something about it?
That's what we're learning right now. And this is what we get to practice this week. So what stops you from trying some of these tools? For me, as it felt cheesy and trite, but as my therapist said, what's your alternative?
How's it going now for you? What's stopping you from checking in? What's stopping you from just being curious about what's actually going on underneath the thing that's underneath you? the thing. I just did a message about hungry and humble as two attitudes I think we need to have even as believers as we approach God a hunger for righteousness right but a humbleness to recognize our position and that same attitude is the
same attitude that works in a successful marriage. If you have a hungry and humble spouse, it doesn't matter what comes your way. You can deal with it. There's no book about marriage in the Bible,
but there is actually. And that's the Book of Proverbs. We love the Book of Proverbs. The Book of Proverbs is pretty much where we steal all of our content. Just, you know, none of our contents are own. It's all stolen.
It's stolen from the Book of Proverbs. I was just reading Proverbs 15 this morning. A harsh word. word stirs up wrath, but a soft answer dispels that. I mean, that is such a marriage verse,
'cause you know-- - We've all said our harsh words. - That's right. The posture that Proverbs says is, will you be hungry? Will you be hungry for wisdom? Hungry for like learning? Hungry for knowledge?
I mean, it talks about that pursuit. Pursuit like rubies, diamonds, gold, but also a humble-- of spirit. Are you humble to recognize who you are?
That you're not perfect. Self -aware. Those are the two attitudes I'd like to see in everybody. Yeah, in marriage. What we do say with the hunger, you can lead a horse to water,
but you can't, what? Make them drink it. And I think that's when people get stuck in marriage, is I can give you all the tools. We can show you how to have a healthy marriage. 99 % of marriage problems are fixed.
Tim. 99%. There are those outliers for sure where you're like, there's something going on. It's deeper than that. But if you have two willing people who are hungry and humble,
we've seen the worst of the worst, heal and repair and be even stronger on the other side. A fair recovery, trauma, depression, anxiety,
all those things. We've seen it be able to to be healed. - I so love that, I believe that. - I go back to that was the message that God had for the nation of Israel. Hunger, for me,
humble yourself. Instead, they became stiff -necked. We get their soon destruction, right? But he said, "Hey, as soon as you humble yourself "and come back to me, I'll have open arms for you." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Kenton, be sure. Kenton, his definition for humility was a right view of oneself. That is such a great definition,
which is basically what you're saying. There's a hunger and then a clear view of myself. Yes. And you were asking earlier, what are some things we're seeing with couples? The thing my therapist told me about, if you want to make a better marriage,
make a better you, that's a view of self to say, I'm going to work on me because who do we have control over ourselves. I have tried to control this man. It is. is impossible.
And you know what happened when I tried to control him? I became more resentful. - I am an untamed stallion. - Yes he is. - Gosh. - In and out of the bedroom. - I think that's wild horse. - I was talking about expectations.
The healthy ones that you just gave was a list of postures. It wasn't a list of actions. And that was actually very helpful. Just listening to you say that, a healthy expectation is a posture.
These are all posture. postures that my expectation of you is that you're gonna come in and be up into this. - Yeah. - And with kindness and humility. - In respect, yes. - But for me to have my expectation is that you will have sex XYZ.
- Kind of percent. You're setting your spouse up for failure. - Totally. - And you're setting yourself up for resentment and disappointment. - Yeah. - Correct. - If I don't get my expectations, you're done. - And you'll talk with one couple where they have sex X amount of times a week.
And if you... put and compare yourself and your spouse with that couple, you'll be disappointed because well, we only have it this amount of times a week. If you're constantly working on yourself and you're aware and you're checking in and you're checking with yourself,
two healthy people make a healthy marriage. And so that's the trend we're seeing is that it's a lot about like, well, they're supposed to make me happy. I have all these gaps in my life and you're gonna fill that. And it's like,
well, technically, you're the only one that can make me happy. actually fill those things. God too, of course. But you have to recognize and say, I wanna show up healthy no matter what my spouse does.
And I think that it's very scary to see, well, we can't work on our marriage because my husband won't join me. We can't do XYZ because my wife isn't on board. And that is actually false. And we have proven that in our marriage and with thousands of,
tens of thousands of couples. And that's our message of hope to so many. And that's our message of hope to so many. And that's our message of hope to so many. that's a different angle for marriage 365 that I think is really refreshing. There's a lot of great marriage books and apps out there. When I say great,
they're okay actually. What I don't like is that in the app, like you have to do it with your spouse. And what we've created is saying something like, if you're hungry and humble, get ready to learn and grow and heal and change and process stuff that you've never even thought of before.
And so that's what we really... really want to make sure people know that they're listening to this because if they're thinking, well, my husband's never gonna listen to this. - Yeah, right. - I'm screwed. That's actually not accurate. - Yeah. - So that's kind of the cop out though.
They will stop at that. They go, well, my husband's not gonna do this. So I'm not gonna do anything myself. - But how sad is that for somebody, right? Because what will happen is, and it happened to me, you just build resentment.
- Yeah. - Because your spouse isn't changing. But again, that message of you can't control what you're seeing. but who do you have full control over you, your behavior, your choices, your behavior, your attitude, your actions,
your words, your communication, your forgiveness, your relationship with God, that is 100 % your control. And when you take ownership of that, I mean, it is empowering and it brings so much peace in your life.
It's like this freedom because I remember for years, I put on the weight of what Casey was doing and not doing. on me. And I was micromanaging and kindrolling. And this is what I see a lot of women do.
Untamed. I know. And I just was like, God's like, stop trying. He's not your project. He's mine. Let me deal with him. But why don't you deal with yourself? Okay,
I feel blank when you. I feel blank when you. I feel you want me to say about in this moment or about anything. anything. - I'm just being an idiot. - Oh, I have a lot. - You're giving it a marriage tool.
- Yes. - It's the, I feel when you. - I feel when you. - I need. - That's actually, so I feel when you, I need. - I feel like, you can't say like. - Oh,
it's true. - 'Cause you can say, I feel like you're a jerk. - Yep. - That's not a feeling word. I have a therapist for a mom. - I know, so you have a one up. Can I say something about therapy really quick? - Yes.
- Okay, we are very pro individual therapy. - Okay. - So I think everybody, if they can, go to see a therapist on your own, you will heal and discover things you've never discovered on your own.
I think what's really hard about marriage therapy is it has a pretty low success rate. - Couples therapy. - Couples therapy, it has about a 20%. We have a marriage therapist that we go to, we love her. If you go to a therapist as a couple,
we always say go with a recommended person that a friend actually experienced experienced and had success with. Because there unfortunately are a lot of therapists who just want your money, who give really bad advice,
or how hard is it for both a husband and a wife and this person to all mesh? That's asking a lot. - That's where triangulation happens. - And someone feels always,
someone feels triangulated because it's not an even amount. And so like even when we work with couples, Casey and I work with them together. - Yeah. - So nobody feels triangulated because it's-- it's wife, husband, female,
male perspective, all of that. Also, when you think about people going to therapy, a lot of people have trauma from a different, you know, specific gender and then all of a sudden you're meeting with a male therapist and you were sexually abused and you might not feel safe.
All these factors matter. And so I think what happens is when we see this, a lot of couples go to therapy thinking this is the fix. This is what's gonna help us. They don't see success or someone felt triangulated or someone didn't feel connected.
but like, oh, my spouse felt connected, so we should keep going. - Yeah. - Ah! And then they spent so much money. - So much money. - Thousands of dollars. And they didn't really see change. And here's what they say.
We felt really good because we talked about stuff. - Right, got it out. - But we didn't get an action plan. So what did we do when we came home? It was like, well, so now what? And that's when like the cycles were never broken.
And I believe that the model of. of a one hour session once a week is a broken model for couples in crisis. We can do that because we're at a healthy spot in our marriage. We just went to therapy for two months in the beginning of this year because we were stuck on an issue,
but we only had one issue. Most couples going into therapy, they don't know it. They've got five, six, seven, eight issues. Yeah, so I just wanna say that because we are advocates for therapy,
but I think a lot of people go, are you trying to replace it? It's like, we're not trying to replace it. There's a place for both. - Maybe. - But I think that we would be edgy enough to say, most couples actually don't need couples therapy. They need something like Maritory 65.
They need an action plan. - Yep, we have our eyes on that target as being disruptors in that industry. This is a model that was presented to us. It's not working. - For everybody. - People need to learn how to do skill sets.
You have the right attitude. And then you need to have an action plan. - Yeah. - I had my best friend went for boundaries with her mom and she said, "No, I learned, I need boundaries with my mom." I said, "Okay, did you make them?" She goes, "Well, I don't know how to make a boundary." Your therapist should walk you down.
She should. Well, she's the one telling you you should have boundaries. Don't you think she should be the one to actually help you write it out, communicate it, and never did that went for six months. There's great therapists like your mother. And again, going back to our therapist,
who do teach you these things. - And that's why I'm saying, if you're going to go. make sure it's recommended by somebody that you know has seen success. So that you don't waste your, we never want anyone to waste thousands of dollars.
And just feel hopeless going to therapy. Okay, so 10 ,000 minutes is all practice based. So the whole point of this is that we would put into practice the ways of Jesus in these different areas and relationships for this series.
It's just on relationships. So what are a few of the practices practices that you've seen have been most helpful? I mean, again, everybody go to marriage365 .com because they're just going to give like two and they probably have 8 ,000 on there.
But are there a few practices that you see? So what you've just said, like, what would it look like to enter your marriage with a hunger for curiosity and with humility,
a right view of yourself? So that's a practice. What are some practical practices that marriages marriages? - 60 second blessing. - Yeah, okay. - A 60 second blessing, are you ready to be blessed? - This is straight from the book of Proverbs.
- Okay. - Words have power to give life. - Words have power to give life or death. You get to choose them. Proverbs 15, it says like words are like a tree of life. Our words are very powerful. I was reminded we need to use our words as blessings to our partner.
And every time we do a retreat, every time we do a retreat. speak at a church, we do a 60 second blessing. And it's amazing the power of just being intentional with your words and saying, these are the things I admire about you.
I love about you. There are words that just wash over our partner in such a significant way. I mean, they can wash away insecurities. They can remind each other like,
oh, that's right, we're on the same team. And it's amazing how many marriages have not showered. each other with pleasant words. - And so how this works is for 60 seconds, literally we do a timer and people are shocked because some people get really nervous to go,
for 60 seconds I have to talk to my wife or I have to talk to my husband. And so write it down if you're nervous, write down five to 10 things that you love about your spouse. This could be character traits,
body parts, maybe something that they did last week that you appreciated. - I love it. - And for 60 seconds. you share that list with them Yeah, okay, then the second spouse shares their list and it's a two -minute habit I mean we all have two minutes a day if you're not in person when I love we work with a lot of military couples and first responders You can do this over the phone over FaceTime over text.
It doesn't matter how you do it Yeah, obviously in person is ideal But what it is is we assume our spouse knows how much we love them totally you this is a practice that actually allows you to say No,
these are the things that I think and believe about you that are positive And it can heal a marriage and it can wipe away those insecurities And what I love about the 60 -second blessing is this is something that you can do with your children Like the world is telling our children.
They're not good enough. Yeah, they're not smart enough You know, they need this this and that and so we model the 60 -second blessing like we'll do it in front of our children So So they see mom and dad genuinely love each other.
And then we also will say, and do the 60 second blessing with our kids. And we make our, the siblings do it to each other and they hate it. But you know what's funny is they hate giving it, but they sure like receiving it.
That's what's interesting is our teenage are like, okay, brother, you know, says the same five things every time. But man, when he compliments her, she lights up.
Yes. And so I love this because it is such a positive practice. It's free. There's no rules other than what we say is, don't say to your spouse,
that's not true. Don't diss what they wrote down. You didn't force them to write anything down. This is their list that they came up with. And you might hear, and you probably will, something that surprises you.
You're like, I didn't even know that they liked that about me. And the best story that I have to share is, we were out. a marriage retreat and this man came up and he had been married 40 years and he comes up with tears in his eyes and he said,
it's the first time my wife has ever complimented me and in my 40 years of marriage and my love language is words of affirmation. And this was worth every penny.
- It's the starved soul. - Yes, 40 years. This was a couple who was in ministry, but she just never communicated. that. And he's like, that filled me probably for my last half of my life.
Wow. Think about how simple that is. It's not a complicated thing. It's not like you have to prepare for anything. And for the past 10 years, we have hashtagged all of our posts I choose love.
And for me, the 60 second blessing is a conscious choice we get to make. We don't have to feel it. it. In fact, I know a lot of people want to, I feel love,
I get to choose love. And I really believe that this is very, very powerful because when we make a conscious choice to choose to love our spouse, we're actually creating love.
We're creating love out of nothing. - So good. - I choose love. I'm not waiting for some sort of wind of chance that I feel empowered. - Yeah. I get to make a choice to shower my partner with these words that are healing,
words that are life -giving far too often. If we just leave it to chance, we're going to shower our partner with words that are death. Right. Yeah, it's the opposite. Yeah. Another great practice is what we call emotional check -ins.
So we go about our day, we know just our spouse might be off, they're watching Netflix or they're doing dishes or whatever. And we kind of just make assumptions and we kind of stay quiet, or we assume the worst of our spouse.
And emotional check -in is really an opportunity to just sit down or just come up to your spouse and put your arm on their arm or just say, "Hey, like you seem off today, like are you good?" - Yeah.
- "Oh, just checking in." And they might say, "No, I'm fine." And you know they're not fine. - Yeah. - But you made the effort to check in. - Yeah. After a fight the next morning,
hey, I know that was really rough. I wanna check in, like how are you after last night? Like we got into it, it wasn't good. Are you doing good? 'Cause I know I'm a little tired, but I really wanted to see how you're doing.
I know like right now I'm working with a couple where the husband just does not initiate date nights. And I'm like, dude, if you could just do one thing for me this week. So he initiated a date night, I was so proud of him. And he seemed,
he said, "My wife seemed disappointed." in my date night. And I thought I did such a good job. And I said, before you assume she's disappointed. Did you check in? And he's like, no, I didn't. So he checks in and she goes,
you know what? It was an amazing date night. I got really bad news from a coworker that day and it just kind of set me off. Had nothing to do with him. But see, he assumed here I am. I plan this date night and she's mad at me.
I did something wrong. And so emotional change. check -ins are just a practical way to not assume the worst or go down that rabbit hole where we are making up this like narrative about our spouse or about our marriage and we're stopping that.
And it really prevents conflict, but also you know what it shows your spouse that you care. Wow, my spouse cares about my feelings. - They're hungry. - Yeah, they're hungry. My spouse cares about he noticed I'm off or she noticed.
that I just had like a bad day at work Yeah, I know baby at a bad day at work. Can I get you anything? Yeah, is there anything I can do for you? Yeah, I love that. We don't do that enough in marriage. Yeah, that's hospitality that we would do for anybody else that walks in our home It's like one of the main points of the scriptures is hospitality.
Yeah in a marriage. That's so good. Yes So emotional check -ins do wonders and again, you're not responsible for your spouse's response Yeah, they may shut you down Yeah, but at least you tried and you made effort.
Yeah, and you'd want the same done to you so good We're not done. Okay. I'm ready. It's quick 10 ,000 thoughts Okay current obsession ice baths.
Yes, it is for you Dogs dog videos. I'm a sucker. Um, yes. Oh my gosh, which I mean any specific anything the algorithm knows that I love Yeah,
let's talk about dogs Yeah, Casey has a dog has a what dog. We do have a cute dog. Poby, but you've got a nice bath. I do back And it is a true obsession. Yes,
I believe that I believe that okay, so favorite movie growing up go first one like Wayne's World That doesn't you typify both of you.
That's perfect pet peeves go pet peeves boring people I Know with the judgment, right? That's okay. It's okay. Yeah You guys are doing great. You should have some stuff to work on My pet peeve is is really people who constantly talk about themselves.
Okay in conversations Like where they don't ever just go so Megan tell me about yourself. I'm like, wow Yes Yeah, she won't listen Yeah, yeah your mom.
- Yeah, yeah. - And your mom. - And my mom. - Yeah. - There's a lot of people we know that just they just talk about themselves. And I don't think they, honestly I've learned they don't realize it. But it's really interesting how long someone can go and never ask you a question about yourself.
- You guys are question askers. - We've written books about questions. So yes. - I've found there not many people who know how to ask other people good questions. It's just not a practice. - And do you know who in the Bible asked the most questions?
- Jesus. - Yes, right answer. ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, he modeled that for us. He got, and you know why? Because it's a curiosity. - Almost 200 questions in the Gospels. - I want to get to know you. I'm not just gonna sit there,
and I love it even when the Pharisees would come to him. He always turned it around and asked a question. It's like, dang it, man, right, it's so good, it's so smart, it's so wise, because it puts the ball in someone's court to really think about what they're talking about.
- And it's hospitality. - And it is hospitality. It shows you care. - Yeah, and in a relationship. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. - Okay, that's probably what we're gonna do with friends. A hidden talent. Last one. - Ventriloquist.
- Really? - Yes. But I'm not great at it. - Can you use your hand real quick? - I'm not great at it though. - Look in the camera and do it. - Look in the camera. - Come on, baby. - Noodles. - Oh. - Noodle?
Noodle. I don't know how to do the hand. - Yeah, no, that was super good. So, say there's a cat on the left. side of the concourse. Oh, that's a hard one. Well, there's like certain letters You can say hello. There's a cat.
Wait. What did you say? And there's a cat on the left side of the concourse I can sort of do it. It's not really you say it's a head and a 60 second lesson Oh my gosh,
that's I mean, it's really good Here's my 60 second lesson - Oh my gosh. - No, my hidden talent, I'm a dancer. Yeah, I can dance. I can do a lot of different varieties.
- Have you seen our bedroom? We got a pole. - Yeah. - Stop. - Do you? - No. - Okay. - We have a mirror. - What do you call it? A swing? - Exotic. - We have a mirror on our ceiling. - Okay. - I'm like, show me your moves.
- Yeah. Do you have a hidden talent? - You have a hidden talent. You have lots of hidden talents. He's a very talented person. - I believe that. - I believe that. polar plunges. - He can play the trumpet. - I can do a lot of musical instruments,
but I'm not good at anything. Like I can play a little campfire songs on the guitar or the ukulele. I play the trumpet. - Thanks for calling the ukulele. - Ukulele. - Thank you. - The yook. - Yeah, thank you so much.
- Thanks to me. - Everybody marriage365 .com. - Download our app. - Download the app. - Yeah, download the app. - It's the easiest way. - Yes. you want a great way to work on your relationship and work on yourself.
I mean, that's what it is. It's a self -improvement tool. - Yeah. - That happens to be in the context of marriage, but also think about apologizing to other people. - Totally.
- Being more confident is gonna be, change the way you show up for work, show up for your own talents, your friends. So it is life improvement. - Yep, so good.
Thanks you guys. - You're welcome. - Isn't that great? I thought that was a great conversation. So just a few things, learnings for me.
Everyone has expectations. They're not necessarily good or bad, they just are what they are. And the invitation for us is to reflect on what those are and communicate them. I have expectations or values that I walk into my marriage with.
But for the most part, they're pretty poor, communicated. They're more just assumed. And that, you know what that does, right? Next, if something in your marriage only works or benefits one person,
it's probably not working. And it's time to pivot. So what are those things for you? And then this practice, which is a 60 -second blessing. Now again, it feels so cheesy and trite and like,
come on, there's gotta be a better way to do this. But I don't know if we're-- doing it. Do you feel like, man, we're totally killing this? Or would it just be worth the week -long practice of awkward? And let's just see how it goes.
Set aside two minutes to bless each other and speak life into each other. And we're really calling out what already exists in each other. So that's what blessing is. Blessing is actually more than just affirming it's speaking wholeness into each other.
And when you say something, it doesn't mean that they are that. all the time. You just see this nature in them. So let's practice that as a community. Like what would it look like if everybody who's in this would practice this in your committed relationships?
I'll be sharing with you guys on socials how my week went doing it and how awkward it was and how great it was. So check out 10K Minutes on Instagram and all the other socials and see how we did.
I'd love to hear how you guys do. - Thank you. Thanks for listening. Would you like, rate, and subscribe this podcast? Then if you want to sign up for our free weekly encouragement, our text message, just text the number 59925,
59925 to the word 10K10K. Put that in the subject line, and then in the number is 59925. Okay, you guys, thank you so much. I'm loving this series on relationships.
I hope you are too, and I hope you're able to practice. these things with other people. Remember, these practices are not just for us, but for the benefit of the flourishing of everyone around us.
So, thanks you guys. Love you so much, so grateful for you. Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)